hey Pailin, if you have skype we could all chat together some time! :-)
Yea, I know...I still haven't down loaded that. I will I will I will, I promise! :)
Oh, I think Betti has gone to bed.
I'm here - I was doing laundry :-( my arm hurts real bad but I will survive :-) (I'm just not sure that's good news LOL)
Pailin - it was a good question about the qualities of a good friend, I have just got confused completely trying to answer it. :-)
I like the question about quality of friends, too... and it is a good point to think about is it what we want in a friend, or what we are as a friend.
I used to have loyalty at the top of my list... but I've taken that off. I've been hurt too many times.
I hope I didn't just gross out any vegetarians in our group.
vegetarian? never :-) but I'm mostly off pork now. Muslims told me people who eat pork smell bad, they can smell the difference. and I didn't really like it a lot anyway. I miss eating turkey badly!! only available at thanksgiving and Christmas here in CM. how stupid is that?!
nope, i'm not vegetarian either... i love meat!!
hmm it's been over a month now and i still feel shit - i have better days sometimes, but the weekends are tough. i think about all the things i could have done with him... and i even know he misses these things too. sometimes i just don't understand why he's not convinced that we're meant to be.
i want to live my life again, want to enjoy things without thinking that with him it would be so much cooler! and i want to write about other things here... i want to tell you girls how cool my life is and how i'm enjoying everything... but i'm not. and it's all because he's not here with me. i feel so stupid to depend so much on him! - i guess that's a part of being in love... but when it's not returned it just makes you feel so useless and stupid.
so here i am, all alone, and it's raining outside. i might still go outside though just to let the world know i'm still here and still alive and fighting (at least a bit). and then i'll have to come back and write my CV to prove my job market value... and go sell myself to the highest bidding university. do you ever feel like all of this is just not real?? (and i don't even want to think about how high my market value is right now; writing CVs can be so depressing!!)
ok i'll stop moaning now. but thanks anyway for listening :-)
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