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Another dowry/sinsod thread
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  1. #1
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    Another dowry/sinsod thread

    I don't think this question was answered in any of the other sinsod threads, so I'll ask it here. If my girlfriend does not have both her parents (both deceased), is sinsod still required? If so, whom is it paid to?

    I talked to a mutual guy Thai friend of myself and my girlfriend and asked him the same question. He was surprised I even knew what "sinsod" was, and he pat me on the shoulder and told me "I only had to pay 8,000 baht for my wife, WINK WINK". Anyway, he said NO I wouldn't have to pay sinsod but I wanted to get more opinions....

  2. #2
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    Sinsod is culture of Thailand to show the love and respect to the bride's parent I would give the respectable amount to the parent or her relatives whom raised her if not then just the ceremony will do but talk to your fiancee is best to honor her.

  3. #3
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    My advise is not to pay any dowry, it is a tradition that is starting to die out in Thailand any way as people realize it is a bit Exploitive of males, why should not she pay for you like in Indian culture, it is not respecting your culture if they demand money off you.
    Although I not believe in paying for the dowry, in Thailand, it is OK to contribute no more than half the cost of the wedding ceremony, the other half being paid by her or her family.

  4. #4
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    Exactly! Who are you going to pay the dowry to!?

    However........if your girlfriend was financially brought up by an aunt/grandmother etc.... then it may be correct to pay 'kha liang doo' (bringing up fee). In fact, 'kha liang doo' is just the same as a dowry really! It's just a more polite way of saying it!

    However (again).... you really only need think of how much that close relative really helped in bringing her up, and how much it is worth.

    Ask your girlfriend about 'kha liang doo' and she will know what i am talking about. You will have to sit down and discuss the matter with her. In fact, the Thai verb for 'to marry (taeng ngarn) literally translates as - 'to make a party' (between 2 sides)

    Remember too, that often enough in Thailand, the dowry or 'kha liang doo' is just for 'show' and her family will return it after the ceremony. It really depends on how much her family need your cash!

    More often than not, Farangs find out that marrying into a financially stable Thai family is cheaper than marrying one which is poor. ie... many poor families find the occasion of a young daughter marrying a Farang a time get a heap of cash, pay off debts and buy a new motorbike...or two. But.....not getting too stereotypical it really depends on the family.

    Facts of the matter are, the cheaper the cost of the wedding etc....the more her family are in 'accepting' you!
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  5. #5
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    Steve is correct,

    I have no idea how long her dad has been dead, but her mother just died, so there is really no one to pay a dowry to, and I certainly would not worry about it.

    and he is also correct that you should not let it all hang out for the wedding as people will look at you as silly for wasting money and not be a good catch for a husband.

    And he is also correct in the idea of a long understanding talk with your intended so things are worked out and plans made.

    And you will be coming out ahead in the long run because you will not have to support her parents in the end,,and she has no kids that you have mentioned,

    So it looks like you are marring the perfect Thai girl, an orphan with no kids,,,lucky bastard..

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevesuphan
    Exactly! Who are you going to pay the dowry to!?
    I think the best is to "act blur" and wait for the lady to suggest if there's any need to give any sin-sod. Since being a "thanchart", we're not "suppose" to know their tradition, so its best to pretend not to know....
    and if she suggest an amount like 1 million baht (if she's only a village girl without University education), one will know what her real intention is...
    Quote Originally Posted by Blast!!
    he pat me on the shoulder and told me "I only had to pay 8,000 baht for my wife, WINK WINK".
    Exactly.... i wanna laugh when I heard some farang say 500,000THB is a reasonable amount for marrying a village girl when the local Thai won't even give more than 30,000THB.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by paul_au
    My advise is not to pay any dowry, it is a tradition that is starting to die out in Thailand any way as people realize it is a bit Exploitive of males, why should not she pay for you like in Indian culture, it is not respecting your culture if they demand money off you.
    Although I not believe in paying for the dowry, in Thailand, it is OK to contribute no more than half the cost of the wedding ceremony, the other half being paid by her or her family.
    yo man, what's going on with you? You seem kinda salty over something in the past. Did a Thai girl screw you over? I don't see what you're saying ever happening because her family is DIRT POOR, you get that? Her grandmother lives in a shack and sleeps on the floor in the corner surrounded by a sheet hanging on the wall. I slept with my girlfriend on my left and big @ss praying mantis on my right... so I'm saying man, I can't really expect too much monetary support from her side but we'll see what happens...

    Exactly! Who are you going to pay the dowry to!?

    However........if your girlfriend was financially brought up by an aunt/grandmother etc.... then it may be correct to pay 'kha liang doo' (bringing up fee). In fact, 'kha liang doo' is just the same as a dowry really! It's just a more polite way of saying it!

    However (again).... you really only need think of how much that close relative really helped in bringing her up, and how much it is worth.

    Ask your girlfriend about 'kha liang doo' and she will know what i am talking about. You will have to sit down and discuss the matter with her. In fact, the Thai verb for 'to marry (taeng ngarn) literally translates as - 'to make a party' (between 2 sides)

    Remember too, that often enough in Thailand, the dowry or 'kha liang doo' is just for 'show' and her family will return it after the ceremony. It really depends on how much her family need your cash!

    More often than not, Farangs find out that marrying into a financially stable Thai family is cheaper than marrying one which is poor. ie... many poor families find the occasion of a young daughter marrying a Farang a time get a heap of cash, pay off debts and buy a new motorbike...or two. But.....not getting too stereotypical it really depends on the family.

    Facts of the matter are, the cheaper the cost of the wedding etc....the more her family are in 'accepting' you!
    you're saying the cheaper the wedding, the more they'll accept me? What? Explain that some more please.

    Anyway, good advice.... her family seemed to really be into me. Everyone was asking me questions about America and what I do for a living and everyone was genuinely interested in me. We went to some Buddhist temples and everyone wanted to take a picture with me. I was kind of shy because I'm not used to that kind of attention. I've expressed to my girlfriend that I'm not rich, but the money is OK right now because I work overseas. I'm not going to BS her, and I always want her to know what to expect from me especially in the future.

    anyway, she was brought up by her parents. Her father died 5 years ago, and her mother died last month.

  8. #8
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    contrary to some, I don't think it's a blessing to marry a Thai who has sadly lost her parents. anyone who knows about the non-financial ways Thai families support their members will understand why. and it's always sad if kids never ever get the chance to know their grandparents. money might be saved, but much more is lost unfortunately.
    I wish you all the best Blast.

  9. #9
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    well I think an orphan is great.

    I had a shot at family support when I was in Nam in the late 60s and I really didn't think much of it.

    My wife now has a family and a couple of kids, but the one boy is gone and the girl is coming 17 in a few months, so will have to put her thru university, My wife father is about gone with prostate cancer that has spread around pretty good and we have to share the hire of a van to take him every month now down to lopburi to specialty hospital for chemo and pay some of his med support, which is fine with me as they were not a poor family and we were given land to build on and some farm land if we were a mind to use it. so it is an even deal.
    I don't know how many generations of the family have lived here, but I think we must have a thousand cousins, aunts and uncles tho, so a lot of family around.
    All in all it is not a bad deal as we give money to the parents monthly and their support is shared by 3 daughters and a son.

    Blast girl have an extended family so the support will pobly fall on someone else, but she does have a family. so ain't like being an orphan with the whole family being lost in a war or something.

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