Proper ettiquette with Thai Buddhist monks/nuns

[Bucephalus]

Sawadee krab took koen,

Can anyone please advise me on the proper ettiquette when I meet Buddhist monks/nuns at the temple or on the street? They have all been very understanding as they know I am a foreigner in their country but I prefer to do things the way that local Thais do.

Some questions I have are:

How should I address them? Is there a difference between monks and nuns?

How should I greet them? Is a "wai" with hands to the forehead sufficient?

What should I do when I bring food (eg rice, noodles) to the temple?

Anything I should not do or never do when I am with them?

Thanks for any information you can provide,


Bucephalus

[Richard Barrow]

Can I ask you a few questions?

(1) Are you male or female because there are more restrictions regarding women and monks?
(2) Are you a practising Buddhist in your own country?
(3) Do you speak fluent Thai?

How should I address them? Is there a difference between monks and nuns?

If you are going to speak to them in Thai then there are special words you should use. Some of these words don't have an English equivalent. Just be polite.

How should I greet them? Is a "wai" with hands to the forehead sufficient?

It is OK to "wai" a monk as a form of showing them respect. Whether you prostrate three times at their feet is up to you.

What should I do when I bring food (eg rice, noodles) to the temple?

There is no-one stopping you giving food or other essentials to a monk. I have done it in the past. But, may I ask you why? Would a Jew go into a Catholic church and take part in holy communion? And the other way round? What would the muslims say if I went into a mosque and started praying?

Please remember, this is not a tourist attraction like Disneyland. Think carefully before you decide to make merit in this manner as to your reason. If it still feels it is the right thning to do then by all means go ahead. Most Thais will not object. The monk will certainly not. But, will you feel comfortable prostrating at his feet?

Anything I should not do or never do when I am with them?

If you are a woman you shouldn't touch a monk or be alone with a monk. Make sure you have taken off your shoes and that you are steated lower than the monk. If in doubt, just be as respectful as you can and keep smiling.

[Junmia]

I would suggest to avoid wearing short shirts (halter top, tank top, chest band) and/or very short skirt or trousers.

And if you make offerings to a monk in the street, join your hands, palm to palm, bow your head a bit while he blesses you. Some people kneel in front of the monk but it's ok to stand.

As for paying respect to the monks, I think there is no need to be a Buddhist. I am not buddhist, actually I don't have a religion but everytime I go to the pagoda with my family (not even religious!) or accompanying my friends, I pay respect to the chief monk. I think that in my country, people are praying and making offerings to the monks not so much out of faith but because it's become a ritual in the community.
But I think that Buddhist monks who are devoted to do good deeds and apply Buddha's teachings deserve respect from anybody, whatever their religion.

But i have a question about perception towards monks in Thailand. Do people have respect or consideration for the monkhood?
In Cambodia, we have a problem of trust because poor young men resort to the monkhood to escape from poverty, hunger and misery. So they don't join because they believe in the philosophy or Buddha's teaching but because of material need. Then many monks turn out to be crooks, to be violent, to gamble or even to be lady-killers! My boyfriend (native Khmer) doesn't like monks at all (except the true believers. He even gave me a tip how to recognize them: they walk on the street bare feet) and I, myself, hesitate to make offering when I know that the monk may be a fake.

I was wondering if Thailand encountered such a problem.

[billk]

I spent quite a bit of time with monks on my recent trip to Thailand. If the ones I was with are any guide, you can be relaxed with them and just have a good time together. They will be teaching you about Buddhism along the way. I'm sure learning about Buddhism in a lighthearted way beats being all serious about it.

[Bucephalus]

Sawadee krab, Khun Richard

Thanks for the past reply and good advice. Answers to your questions:

(1) Male

(2) Yes (Chinese tradition, very different from Thai)

(3) Fluently

"Tham-boon" (make merit) reason: I guess the answer to (2) answers the question. This is also an idea from my motorcycle-taxi "driver"-cum-tour guide when I visited Buriram last Christmas. Besides putting $ in the donation box, he told me I could donate food items to the monks at the temple.

[billk]

Richard and Junmia have made some really good points. There is also a thread on Khao Phansa in the Thai Buddhism section that explores these issues at more length.

I have certainly experienced the discomfort Richard alluded to when performing some of the Buddhist rituals. I can't say I'm much into that side of Buddhism. Of course you can just put a few Baht in a donation box without having to make a big deal of it in front of anyone.

Richard's point that Wats are not tourist attractions like Disney Land is one that more tourists should consider. I've seen some appaling behaviour at Wats recently, including people dressed in the clothes Junmia noted were inappropriate. Those same peole wouldn't dream of walking into a church back home dressed like that.

The other day I was at Wat Phrathat Lampang Luang and two Europeans dressed for the beach or the gym were being shown through by a Thai tour guide, who evidently hadn't taught them anything about "Thai style". I suppose the guide may have thought saying "sorry cannot go to Wat dressed like this" was too confrontational and the tourists may have been too stupid to notice how differently everyone else was dressed.

A few days before that I was at Wat Chedi Luang, which suffers from being too close to Chiang Mai's backpacker strip. A group of four very underdressed young women were wandering around and talking very loudly. One of them even asked one of the staff "Is there anything more to see around here?" showing just how Disneyland the whole thing was for her.

[Junmia]

I remember when watching the Amazing Race 9th edition, there was a leg in Thailand and the pit stop was at the Marble temple in Bangkok. One of the female contestant had a tank top and when she entered, there was someone who game her a white shirt, telling her she couldn't enter with bare arms and shoulders.
Anyway, I think it's the basic common sense to be dressed properly when going to a sacred place ^^

Talking about dressing code... Do Thai (especially Thai girls) have a special way (traditional clothings?) to get dressed when going to the pagoda for special occasions?

[Richard Barrow]

Do people have respect or consideration for the monkhood?

Thailand and Cambodia share many cultural beliefs. The same goes for their religion and festivals. I talked about this subject to my Cambodian guide when I was at Angkor Wat earlier this year. He said the same as you that Cambodian monks don't have so much respect as their counterparts in Thailand. We do have some problems with monks drinking or sleeping with women, but this is a minority. As a whole, there is a great deal of respect for the monkhood in Thailand.

Talking about dressing code... Do Thai (especially Thai girls) have a special way (traditional clothings?) to get dressed when going to the pagoda for special occasions?

They will dress up in their best clothes which are quite often made from silk.

About the dress code for temples, it is mainly the Royal sponsored temples where the dress code of no shorts and shirts with no sleeves is enforced. However, in the small temples, up country, these rules are not strictly enforced. But, Thai people do like it when foreign visitors make an effort to dress and behave politely.

[Richard Barrow]

"Tham-boon" (make merit) reason: I guess the answer to (2) answers the question. This is also an idea from my motorcycle-taxi "driver"-cum-tour guide when I visited Buriram last Christmas. Besides putting $ in the donation box, he told me I could donate food items to the monks at the temple.

If you have a Thai friend, you can join them in giving food to monks on their morning alms round. If you want to do it alone, then read a blog I wrote on the subject:

http://www.thaibuddhist.com/alms_round.html

The holy days in Thailand are not fixed by a particular day of the week (like a sunday for Christians) but by the phases of the moon. On these days, wan phra, Thai people will go to the temple to make merit and to listen to a sermon. On Buddhist festival days, there will be a lot of people at the temple making merit.

People make merit in slightly different ways because not everyone knows the proper way. My advice is to go to a temple and watch other people offer food and essentials to a monk. Then copy how they do it. You can buy a bucket full of essentials for the monk outside the temple grounds.

[Stephen Cleary]

Without a doubt Thais show much more respect to monks than in Cambodia.

Junmia in Phnom Penh has pointed how a lot of the locals there distrust monks. She raises her arguments well, too.

When i was living in Phnom Penk i couldn't believe the time when i saw a couple of food vendors telling a monk, on his alms round, to 'go away'. You would never see such a thing in Thailand!

One of my best buddies in Phnom Penh was a monk and he told me some very sad stories, since he would sometimes recieve hardly any food on his alms round he had to resort to cooking for himself! Unlike the monks in Thailand, he had to pay for all his moto-dop (motorbike taxi) rides, bus rides and even claimed that locals would over-charge him as they thought the monks had plenty of money!!

One of my students at CBL once told me though, positively, that if it weren't for the monks the Khmer Buddhist scriptures and even the written language would have become extinct a long time ago. The monks were responsible for saving all the books etc....during the reign of the Khmer Rouge.