Seeing the truth about bargirls

[BUCKY]

Remember, they will not lie to you any more than you are willing to lie to yourself. FFT

You have put it perfectly.
There are probably a few guys who through sheer naivety wind up with Thai gf "one time" or some more ongoing thing as a walking ATM. Others get into those situations through lying to themselves quite actively. When things unravel, a lot of them don't just blame the bar girl, they blame all of Thailand. It's time they took a bit more responsibility for their own actions.

I'm sorry dudes, I don't really agree with u guys on this one.... u mean saying, "oh, you hum-some man, I luv you only... you only one.... I be good girl... you send me money, I go back home take care baby and wait you...." is not lie?

Give these guys a break... most of these guys live a miserable life back home and probably has a bad marriage and when they came Thailand for first time expecting to visit Grand Palace and temples... but "accidentally" walked past a night lady and hearing "Oh! You hum-some man! Where you go?"... who won't stop and talk to her???

Naive? maybe... some of these guys are really nice guys and always expected the best from everyone.. but unfortunetly these guys are the ones most easily conned.

[billk]

I'm sorry dudes, I don't really agree with u guys on this one.... u mean saying, "oh, you hum-some man, I luv you only... you only one.... I be good girl... you send me money, I go back home take care baby and wait you...." is not lie?

Give these guys a break... most of these guys live a miserable life back home and probably has a bad marriage and when they came Thailand for first time expecting to visit Grand Palace and temples... but "accidentally" walked past a night lady and hearing "Oh! You hum-some man! Where you go?"... who won't stop and talk to her???

Naive? maybe... some of these guys are really nice guys and always expected the best from everyone.. but unfortunetly these guys are the ones most easily conned.

I think we agree on most of this.

Yes, the bargirls are telling lies. Yes, there are definitely some nice guys who are easily conned and get trouble they don't deserve. But with other guys I think a willingness to be lied to really is part of the picture.

I think I chose my words poorly in the previous post by writing that naivety only came into the picture in a few cases.

[BUCKY]

But with other guys I think a willingness to be lied to really is part of the picture.

In another way, I do agree that sometimes... say for example a guy after falling in love with a lady he met in a bar, come to a forum and ask for advice.... and after hearing some negative comments from some forumers, he either gets defensive or ignore the advises and goes ahead with the relationship anyway... some live happily ever after... while most don't.... then this group do kindly deserved it don't they?

Then again, this group is usually the ones who stand up fiercely for these ladies... I wonder why....

[billk]

I've been a bit surprised by people who have come to the forum for advice and got very narky when some forum members pointed out the obvious.

I've been a bit shocked by some postings where people have had a bad experience with a bar girl, say, and then used this forum to say hurtful things about all Thai women or all Thai people. It's those people I particularly had in mind when I said they should take more responsibility for their own actions. If they could do so, they would get over it much more quickly.

[Khun Don]

But with other guys I think a willingness to be lied to really is part of the picture.

I personally think this is what is going on with my friend's friend though I have never met the guy. Bucky's point about escaping a previous bad relationship maybe also be a factor.

Before agreeing to put this issue to the forum, I suggested to my friend that ultimately there was nothing he or his girlfriend could do concerning this guy and his monthly B28000 payments, and to leave the problem alone -which some Forum members have also more or less advised.
I will pass on the address of this thread to him, (my friend) to read together with any more postings on this subject.
Thanks for your all your thoughts, people.

[Peterg]

I personally think this is what is going on with my friend's friend though I have never met the guy. Bucky's point about escaping a previous bad relationship maybe also be a factor.

Before agreeing to put this issue to the forum, I suggested to my friend that ultimately there was nothing he or his girlfriend could do concerning this guy and his monthly B28000 payments, and to leave the problem alone -which some Forum members have also more or less advised.
I will pass on the address of this thread to him, (my friend) to read together with any more postings on this subject.
Thanks for your all your thoughts, people.

Khun Don, it's not just this thread. There are many others on these forums. Perhaps after a few hours browsing them, a common theme might be discerned by your friends's friend. Who knows, miracles happen.

[Khun Don]

Khun Don, it's not just this thread. There are many others on these forums. Perhaps after a few hours browsing them, a common theme might be discerned by your friends's friend. Who knows, miracles happen.

Thanks for that, Peter, I will suggest that to my friend to pass on-and also suggest a look at the "Stickman" site that someone else suggested- but whether he-the affected party- will do it, or take any notice of what he reads and apply anything he reads to his own situation, of course, remains to be seen.

[visionchaser45]

Let's not forget the flip side of the coin. What about the girl that goes to the city because she hears she can earn lots of money and perhaps meet a farang that will marry her and take care of her and her family? Once she gets there, she finds out that many of the men she encounters just want to treat her like a toilet, give her as little as they possibly can, and lie about wanting to see her the next day/visit. Suppose after a while she becomes jaded and decides to turn the tables on some poor unsuspecting schmuck who forgets he's in an "adult entertainment" district. Some guys come into the situation thinking that they can buy people or love. My point is that there are victims on both sides. People lie and money changes hands. Sometimes it is fantasy and sometimes it's fact. The fact is, you can buy a fantasy, but you can't buy love. If two paths cross at the right time, such as when the schmuck meets the girl before she becomes jaded, there may be a chance. I have heard success stories from men who have married former bar girls and are still happy with the decision after many years. I have also heard the horror stories. I think it is important to emphasize that it takes two to tango.

[tirnanog]

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I think it is important to emphasize that it takes two to tango.
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Agree.
And there are always 2 sides to a coin --- any coin instead!

[tirnanog]

Oops --- I mean any coin indeed!

There is no better illustration than the 2 Malay/Indonesian words of "Tuhan"(God) and "Hantu"(Devil). Did you notice anything?