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help(problem with my thai gf)
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  1. #1
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    question help(problem with my thai gf)

    Hi. I have been with my thai gf for 18 months..I live in Los Angeles..she lives in Korat..and we see each other 2-3 times a year..I have already given her a "promise ring" which she accepted and happily put it in her "ring" finger.
    Note that my gf is a 23 yr old student, whom I met 2 years ago on line..and I have been to her hometown in Korat.

    The problem is that she has been "missing in action" for 3 weeks since her leg surgery.(She did have a somewhat complex leg surgery at the local hospital.) I talked to her everyday after the surgery for 3 days and she sounded ok. Since then, 1)her phone has been off(the call goes straight to the voice mail), 2)her cousin's phone has been disconnected(she lives with her cousin), 3)she hasn't checked her emails and responded to my emails, 4)I haven't seen her on line(msn messenger or yahoo) and 5)she hasn't responded to my SMS.

    I am really worried about her in terms of her health. At the same time I am wondering about her intention. All the sudden has she met somebody new and therefore she doesn't want to talk to me any more? Or she has changed her mind about me for some other reason?
    I have heard about some thai girls dumping guys that way because they are afraid of being staright up with their bfs that they no longer like.

    I started wondering about her intention because her on line yahoo album has changed, and apparently she moved most of her photos to a different on-line album from her yahoo album that I have access to. This makes me think that she has been on line before but for some reason I haven't seen her on line and she hasn't responded to my emails and/or intentionally has not checked the emails I have sent her(cuz I didn't not get any receipt which is the proof that she has read my mails.) Maybe she has blocked m in her messenger too?(all these negative thinking!!)

    I know that all I can do is to wait for her to respond to me or wait for her phoe to be on, but in the mean time I am just wondering what you guys(with more experience in thai culture and relationship with thai people) think about this situation. I cannot eat and sleep...I think about her all the time..and I cannot move on until this gets cleared up. Please help!!!!

    mike from Los Angeles

  2. #2
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    Re: help(problem with my thai gf)

    It looks like you are whipping a dead horse.
    A promise ring means nothing here and if it was gold, it is gone.
    I would just get on with my life if I was you.

  3. #3
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    Re: help(problem with my thai gf)

    Sorry to hear that. Can I ask, did you give her any money for the "surgery"? Or did she ask and you refused?

    Long distant relationships of this kind can be a bummer. At the end of the day, you can only trust them otherwise you will go crazy. Give her time. If a month passes without hearing from her then you should move on. No point in trying to chase it.

  4. #4
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    Re: help(problem with my thai gf)

    Coincidentally a similar story to me, I met my former Thai girlfriend on yahoo chat, then went over to see her in Thailand, After being back in Australia for about 4 months, when she found out she could not make a financial profit out of me, she started saying she was bored in the middle of our conversations, the conversations started going down hill for another 6 weeks, with her being moody and all, I keep saying after she not seem interested in this 6 week period, how about we break it off or just be friends on about 3 occasions, she keep saying no she love me and we where boyfriend and girlfriend, well that confused me, I was getting mixed signals then 1 day before I was to book my airfare to go see her, she said she was to busy for me to come see her, with her work commitments, having to travel during that period and could I come latter in the year, I said OK it no problem. The next day she just stopped normal communication. To this day, it amazes me, why she could not just break it off when I gave her the opportunity, when I asked her, it would have been so easy for her to just say OK or Yes to my offer, I gave her the opportunity, why put up with her playing games, any way to cut a long story short, I was quite relieved when she said she was to busy to see me, as over that 6 weeks of her acting strange I was getting quite fed up, and even I gave her the opportunity to just be friends, but with her it was all or nothing, and over the next 2 years she came on line about 6 times, just to tell me she got rich American, Norwegian or Dutch boyfriend from Pattaya, who would spend a lot of money on her, and she started calling me a cheap charley, like she wanted to get revenge, well I never believed her stories, they some times got quite reticules. after all she has two university degree.s and a high paid executive position, why she want to tell me she become a bargirl on the side, she not she just acting silly.
    Thai woman cannot say directly it's Over
    To me by what you are saying, it is as clear as a sunny day, your relationship is over, it has probably been over for quite some time, but she has not been able to tell you strait.

  5. #5
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    question Re: help(problem with my thai gf)

    Oh I forgot to mention the additional fact:
    1)I have sent her 8,000 bahts or so every month so that she would be able to pay for her rent + etc. Also, I sent her some money every 3 months so that she would pay for the tuition.

    2)She told me that her surgery would cost 30,000 bahts, and she was planning to do it next year. I said I would help her out. However, she said her leg started hurting mak mak, asked her aunt for help, and her aunt decided to help her out and paid 30,000 bahts. I guess, indirectly she did ask me some money for the surgery then.

    If she is dumping me then, she must have found someone new who can help her financially in the mean time. Then she was looking for another guy while we were together.

    She was not a bargirl, just a student. I thought that I could trust her..she said she loved me so many times....if this is the case, I don't think I can trust any girls..especially in thailand..any more..I wouldn't know how to have a meaningful relationship with a thai girl then...this is crazy...For those who have succeeded and got married..good luck to you!! You must have met 1 in a million!!!

    Well..I will give her some more time, then I will keep moving on..it sucks..but what can we do?

  6. #6
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    Re: help(problem with my thai gf)

    OH NO, some of them do have a number of boyfriends sending money all at the same time, and it is easy as long as they all are away somewhere, when it gets sticky is when one shows up with a 2 month vacation and that kind of screws the rest, especially if he is the prime payer and all others pay less.
    And they do not actually have to work in a bar, that is the M.O. for most Thai women who are of that type.

  7. #7
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    Re: help(problem with my thai gf)

    One of the weirdest stories I've heard, in brief, is this "farang" met this "woman" online and somehow "fell in love"... and of cos, the usual sending "her" allowances applies untill 1 day, I can't remember the reason but this "farang" decided to send a private eye on his "tirak".....

    And it turned out this "tirak" is jus another male "farang" who'd overstayed in Thailand...... So you can imagine how funny it is when they 2 are chatting mushy mushy with each other.....

    One really should be careful of getting into a relationship purely based on knowing on the "internet"..... and its not just in Thailand. I believe its really a world wide thing.....

  8. #8
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    Re: help(problem with my thai gf)

    Quote Originally Posted by BUCKY
    And it turned out this "tirak" is jus another male "farang" who'd overstayed in Thailand......
    Smart guy! Maybe I should pretend I'm Thai, too... or do you think it would work for european women with foreign men?
    life is wonderful!

  9. #9
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    Re: help(problem with my thai gf)

    sorry to hear that, hope you're lucky in love with yourThai gf, and everything gonna be alright.
    " Every morning dedicate positive things, and during the whole day make a wish that we will always be of benefits to sentient beings. We will be helpful to any being in different ways."

  10. #10
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    Re: help(problem with my thai gf)

    "Actions speak louder than words"

    A few of my fiancé's friends were bar girls, and one of their name was Tea. Well, Tea and my good friend Ariel "fell in love". Tea winds up screwing Ariel over but he made it known from the jump he wasn't gonna send her any money after they first met. Well, the second time we all went to Thailand Ariel put Tea in a nice apartment, bought her all kinds of clothes, shoes, electronics, and bought her an engagement ring. Well, Ariel goes back to Afghanistan and after about a month Tea stops talking to Ariel for about 10 days. (They would speak to each other every day).

    Anyway, to make a long story short, this last trip I was in Thailand I was with my girl and Tea met up with us to eat dinner. I'm cool with Tea and all... anyway she told me when Ariel used to call her, she would put her phone on silent or turn it off because she was with her other boyfriend.

    That's basically what has happened to you. Sorry to sound so pessimistic, but she has been using you, telling you all the right things you wanted to hear, and now she is done. Or maybe not. She will give you another story about what happened, or whatever. I'm just gonna tell you this dude: TRUST YOUR GUT. Seriously. If your gut tells you something is wrong, then THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG. Do not send another penny to this chick. Do not. You're just wasting your time.

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