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Am I taken for a ride?
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  1. #1
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    Am I taken for a ride?

    I'm kinda struck in a funny situation. I'm sorry that despite reading the sticky, I have to mention the word 'sex workers' - it is nothing offensive, really.

    Out of curiousity, I explored into the bar & 'offed' a person for companion (nothing happen, really!). It turns out that it was rather a good situation, I think I was the first customer & it was a pleasant surprise that nothing physical had happened. We had exchanged emails though.

    Now, after chatting in msn messenger (few months later) - i learnt that she no longer works in the bar, &, is working at Siam Paragon. Now, wisdom dictates that I couldn't trust statements like that - so I make a 'surprise visit' to her working place. There she was, she is indeed working there.

    From what I know, she is staying in a crabby apartment with a friend in a tiny room, she is from Chiang Rai all alone in Bangkok, she is studying in Ram. University & earns 6,000THB per month (because she is still in her observation period, before, official employment). Being a foreigner, the currency is smaller & affordable - that I can support her education & let her work for me. This is a common mentality that many foreigners have, I know.

    Before I left Thailand, i had a conversation with her: I asked if she wants to learn english, and, if she wants to work for me. She smiles and say yes. FOOLISHLY, i gave her my bank ATM card (which has no money in it) and tell her that for the next 3 months that I will be out of the country, she can ask me for some 'additional supplement' in case of emergency.

    Now, right after I leave the country - I got an email request "My sister in Chiang Rai is sick" Yea, right! and she requested for 6,000THB. It wasn't a big amount & sound reasonable by Thai standards (even i know about the 30THB medical treatment thing), so, I think that it could be true. I don't know, the amount is not too suspicious right?

    Following that is 2 weeks of nice & almost daily conversation on msn messenger, i told her that I'm looking for a place in Bangkok to stay in - and she says she wants to stay with me. (This sort of raise a flag for me) She asked me for an additional 4,500THB. This time, for her rent/ social security (WTF) etc. I blocked her from MSN, and, never talked to her since.

    I'm wasn't prepared to become a sugar brother to anyone (note: I'm only 23), and, i'm afriad it's going to be a dry request for money. But than again, I thought - it could be a culture thing.

    Is it for survival or is it greed? This question is not asked because I'm interested in her, I'm not, but if she is sincere into finishing her education - she'll be a valuable help to me once she finish her english course, since, i deal with both foreigners and thailanders in my scope of work. I'll need a translator somehow.

    I'm not sure where I read this from, but, it says that if a Thai is close to a person - they will not be shy into asking for assistance. I wonder how true is this to my case. So far, she has been rather true to her words (she is no longer in the bar, she is staying with a decent friend, she has a decent job, she has a pleasant aura - meaning, not smoking, not clubbing) -- I'm wondering if things can be different if it comes to money. It will count to say that I'm close, since, I once said she can call me as a 'god-brother'.

    I'm not in the mood for relationships. I'm 23, and, I'm not sure if I'm a butterfly or not. I don't want to hurt anybody, or, I don't want to be cheated by somebody.

    Thoughts anyone? should i think of it as a matter of being survival & holding head up proud, for not doing bar job? or, is it a case of greed, taking advantage of my kindness?

  2. #2
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    Re: Am I taken for a ride?

    All sounds just to familiar,,so keep paying if you want,,but I sure wouldn't..

  3. #3
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    Re: Am I taken for a ride?

    A student studying at Ramkumhang U. usually lives in a 2,500-4,000 baht room WITH friends (almost ALWAYS... even people who come to BKK alone). Tuition is pretty cheap too. Sick sisters and bar girl shame? Doesn't make sense na.

    It is not true the girls from Chiang Rai have to work as bar girls to make enough money. Even the poorest of college students wash dishes or work for stores... Working in the "foreigner service industry" IS a choice.

    Why do you feel indebted to this girl? I'm sure she is doing just fine on the money she gets from her parents and Siam Paragon salary. You aren't saving anyone.

  4. #4
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    Re: Am I taken for a ride?

    - i learnt that she no longer works in the bar, &, is working at Siam Paragon.
    Then I fell off my chair laughing, then I got back up and saw.

    Now, wisdom dictates that I couldn't trust statements like that - so I make a 'surprise visit' to her working place. There she was, she is indeed working there.
    Now that is really strange.. a first for me to see.

  5. #5
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    Re: Am I taken for a ride?

    I'm sorry. anyway, that's the first thought that came into my mind - bargirls are not always reliable when they tell you "I no working bar already", I'm sure you heard stories like those.

    Than you'll surprised to find her in bars again. Working in Siam Paragon seems to be a good indication that she is somewhat honest.

    Anyway, she appears to be prudent. In Thailand, as a general - you can tell a person by looking at her/ his shoe. From my calculations, it's not possible to live with her 6,000THB pay and complete studies.

    1200thb (rent)
    500thb (electricity . tops)
    600thb (20thb x 30) (daily transportation from suthisarn - siam paragon)
    1500thb (50thb x 30) (daily thai food on the lower budget)
    200thb (water for 1 month)

    The remaining is 2,000thb. I haven't yet include other living cost, groceries shoppings.

    I've a good impression because she will take me for public transport than calling for taxi, walk long distance helping me look out for accomodation, and, when i gave her 4000thb (before I left, as a token of appreciation that she's helping me out voluntarily for the past few days) - she says "it's too much".

    Right. Indebted - I shouldn't have the feeling. I'm afraid new foreigners are prone to such feelings.

  6. #6
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    Re: Am I taken for a ride?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bernett
    i learnt that she no longer works in the bar, &, is working at Siam Paragon. Now, wisdom dictates that I couldn't trust statements like that - so I make a 'surprise visit' to her working place. There she was, she is indeed working there.
    Be careful still, many of these girls work during the day and at night sometimes. I have seen this before too - such as hairdresser during the day and bar girl by night....

  7. #7
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    Re: Am I taken for a ride?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bernett
    Anyway, she appears to be prudent. In Thailand, as a general - you can tell a person by looking at her/ his shoe. From my calculations, it's not possible to live with her 6,000THB pay and complete studies.
    What is prudent for you, would be considered extravagance for me. If I had to, I could live and study on half that amount. Not that I would want to, but I could.

  8. #8
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    Re: Am I taken for a ride?

    Not another one!

    Judging by the frequency this topic comes up, evolution is taking a backward step. The male of the species is starting to be ruled by his gonads rather than his brain! Either that or average IQ of the human male is plunging.

  9. #9
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    Re: Am I taken for a ride?

    Quote Originally Posted by Peterg
    Not another one!

    Judging by the frequency this topic comes up, evolution is taking a backward step. The male of the species is starting to be ruled by his gonads rather than his brain! Either that or average IQ of the human male is plunging.
    HAHA...You should really meet some of the foreigners I have talked to in Thailand - you would be quite amused at things that they have done...

  10. #10
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    Re: Am I taken for a ride?

    Hmmm. that is sort of the reaction i expect to get. I've talk to thai guys who can't seem to survive at 100THB per day, I can do so without much problem.

    Thaibook, in my observation (including my semi-understanding the thai language) - I heard this before, when I was suppose to meet her. She came with a friend (!!), her friend who works in the management of Siam Paragon said something that I can understand. "Now we work Siam Paragon, don't go bar again even for drink". I would appreciate your opinion.

    This is something I have to sort out. Since I'm not looking for a romantic attachment, or, am I looking for a wild thing to be on bed - I will not want to be involved than I've to. Occasional financial favors will be fine, but, the request is 2 weeks apart - it raise my flag.

    I also wonder if it is realistic for someone who earns 6,000THB, to pay 2,500THB for social security. It just proves 1 thing, many thais are still too simple that we won't understand. We have a certain logic, and, expects others to follow it progressively.

    FWIW - yes. Farangs are incredibly silly sometimes, not the whole figure, but sometimes I see petty farangs who will argue over a few baht (especially if they buy water in tourist zone). The thais are simple silly, but, farangs are complex silly.

    That's the rule of the game.

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