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  1. #1
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    How the Internet paints a rosy glow of Asian brides

    How the Internet paints a rosy glow of Asian brides
    Millions of men trawl for mates, but a Thai researcher 'can't find love'

    Hi guys! Are you looking for an Asian bride? Then just type in the keywords "Thai bride" on any Internet search site and in seconds you'll receive 1.2 million hits. About half of those will be profiles of women from the Philippines.

    Women from Thailand and the Philippines are the most popular among Western men seeking an Asian wife.

    Images of Thai woman portrayed on the sites are often accompanied by descriptions like "sweet" and "spoils and treats her husband like a king".

    Filipinas are noted for their beauty, grace, charm and loyalty as well as being family-oriented, resourceful and devoted.

    Additional qualifications in the mail-order bride stakes are the Filipina's Christian faith and cultural compatibility.

    Internet-order brides have been popular since the mid-1990s and over the past few years Asian brides have become sub-plots on Western TV sitcoms. For example, there are "Miss Pattaya" and "Miss Tingtong" in the UK, said Dr Romyen Kosaikanont, who is researching "Women in Southeast Asia: Internet-order brides".

    Romyen paid Bt1,500 for membership of a website and described herself as a woman different from the images generally portrayed.

    These are: "I do not smoke or drink and I am very sincere and loving."

    "I am marriage-minded. If I find the right man, I will live anywhere and do anything to make him happy."

    "I am a good cook but maybe a little shy at first."

    Romyen introduced herself as a "fun-loving girl with a good sense of humour". She wrote that she enjoyed travelling, discos, sport and reading, posting her own untouched photograph.

    "It has been five months already but no man has contacted me," said Romyen. She added her photograph had never being displayed on the website's main page.

    However, this matchmaking website is more flexible about the women it advertises, she said. The first site she contacted rejected her because she was overweight.

    "The first website told me to reduce my weight by about 10 kilograms and also suggested I retouch my photo," the researcher said.

    Most sites offering brides were often operated by Thai-women-and-Western-men couples who claimed to have found happiness in cross-cultural marriage and wanted to help others achieve the same.

    Some said their business was to "to bring genuinely lonely, like-minded people together to achieve wholesome, meaningful lifetime relationships".

    But Romyen - who teaches at the Faculty of Social Sciences and Women's Studies at Chiang Mai University - saw inequality for male and female clients. She noted wording such as "our ladies, your choices, your bride".

    In profiles, male clients would explain what they wanted from a bride while Thai women would discuss what they were like rather than what they wanted from a man, Romyen explained.

    On Internet-order bride services, she said, the femininity of Asian women was determined by Western men.

    Meanwhile, matchmakers used Thai men as an explanation of "why Western husbands are needed for Thai woman". They note: "Thailand is a male-orientated society. There is a strong bias towards men. Many Thai men tend to be very promiscuous - often having more than one wife. Not good husband material."

    What was more, they have created a myth dividing women from different parts of the world, she explained.

    Asian women are portrayed as "submissive" while Western women are stereotyped as "emancipated".

    "Her self-centredness, her ridiculously high expectations, her sense of entitlement, her high maintenance, superficiality and stuck-up attitude, her snootiness and her sense of superiority" were reasons Western men spurned women of their own cultures.
    Some websites noted Western women's "princess" syndrome meant "she will always think she is better than you and she deserves and is entitled to whatever she wants from you".

    In the eyes of feminists, Romyen sees Internet brides as a "reproduction of patriarchy".

    "It was a match of lost femininity in the West against an economic and social upgrade for Asian women ," she said.

    Subhatra Bhumiprabhas


    The Nation


    Chiang Mai

  2. #2
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    Re: How the Internet paints a rosy glow of Asian brides

    Sad to see the change over the past 50 years. Now, marriage is only a mere click away on the internet and it is basically "buying" a wife. Compatability is not just words but in many other ways in which two people need to acutally meet in person and converse. It is in some way sickening to me at least. What does everyone else think of mail order brides? Has it become such as norm in our society that no one even thinks about it?

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    Re: How the Internet paints a rosy glow of Asian brides

    Here in America there are many local Internet dating sites and match making services that do a booming business. Many people have little time to involve themselves in a varied enough social scene to meet eligable mates, particulery as you get older and have more responsisbilities (work and home).

    This past year new guide lines were implemented by the US governmet pertaining to "mail order brides" in regards to the Finace Visa process to protect women from abusive men. How that is supposed to work I don't know. The predomiment story in America media is of American men being ripped off by women (?) met through these services, typically Eastren European. Two weeks ago there was a srory of a man here in San Francisco whom was defrauded and murdered by a Brazillian woman he had met through the net. Cuts both ways.

    The internet is shrinking the world in many ways. All of the claims made about Asian women and Westren men made on these sites should be viewed with a an open eye. No matter the "product", good marketing is important. The other thing to realize is that meeting the person on the net is just the first step. Any sensible person, wether male or female, should take time to try to get to know their future mate as well as one can before taking such a big step.

    In intrest of full disclosure I met my wife (Thai) through an Internet Introduction service. Except of the fact she was half way around the world it was really no different than meeting a woman here through the usual means. As a matter of fact, at least in our case, I feel that we both had to more honestly examine our feelings, motivations and expectations and discuss them than if we were just down the street from each other. Certainly a lot more at risk.
    "It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little." Sydney Smith

    May all beings be happy, may all beings have peace.

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    Re: How the Internet paints a rosy glow of Asian brides

    Damn, Do you remember back 50 years?
    I have trouble about that because don't think that computers were that easy to use 50 years ago or that many folks owned em.
    I actually see nothing wrong with the way things are working now.
    Everyone is making money from it, First you have a site that you have to pay to get the lists of members, Then you have to write and get to know them or at least open a line of dialog, Then you can send em some money and gifts in the mail, or an ATM card.
    Then you will have to invest more money into Air Plane tickets and hotel reservations, eat while you are here, buy her some gold, a new cell phone, and what ever gifts that she can swing, Open a bank acct here so you can get an ATM card that you can recharge from the states, maybe buy her a new car.
    Everyone will make some money on you and even Thailand will profit from the increased tourist activity.

    Some guys just can't meet women any other way except in singles meat markets with a load of booze in their gut, and the women they wake up with are bound to be sometimes beasts and dogs, Never an ugly woman at closing time, so this is hard on a dudes self esteem.

    No, not a bad thing, and it is never cheap for some duders to get layed. And then ya have to figure in the ladyboys that will also profit from the increased "horny dude" action from drunk tourists.

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    Re: How the Internet paints a rosy glow of Asian brides

    No, not a bad thing, and it is never cheap for some duders to get layed. And then ya have to figure in the ladyboys that will also profit from the increased "horny dude" action from drunk tourists.
    Now there's the voice of experience!! LOL!!!!!!!!!
    "It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little." Sydney Smith

    May all beings be happy, may all beings have peace.

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    Re: How the Internet paints a rosy glow of Asian brides

    What the researcher found is not a surprise. Thaibook, mail-order bride is not exactly a new phenomenon. The internet just makes it that much faster. It is sad to see women reduced to 'commodity' status that can be bought and sold. When a woman is put in that situation, she loses her self esteem. The marriage will not be that of equal partnership, being help mates with the goal of raising a family. Some may say that that is the west's ideal of marriage but deep down this is what all culture strives for. The idea of 'match maker' is also not new. The match maker of old though was more involved with the families and not a mere electronic mouse and someone who couldn't careless about the people.

    I would like to know how many of these marriages actually work. Perhaps the researcher will do another study. I am sure there are some. There was a research done on how successful are the marriages of the couples who found their mates on internet dating service sites. E Harmony.com was one of the ones sited. I don't have the exact number but I remember that more than half failed after a few years. It was written up in my local newspaper which I cannot access the archive.

    Yes, Thaibook, this is sad but such is human condition. All we can do is try to educate the next generation as best we can.

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    Re: How the Internet paints a rosy glow of Asian brides

    .
    Last edited by vintagesailor; 10-01-07 at 07:14 AM.

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    Re: How the Internet paints a rosy glow of Asian brides

    I have seen these marriages for more years than most, I have been involved with being in foreign country's and watching how things have been done for many years.

    Here is how it has worked and most likely still does.

    Guys come into the country, even before the time of computers, go to a saloon that has a cutie setting on most bar stools, the dude starts to drink and talk to a girl, spends money with both hands and when it is over they will go back to camp or their ship and sail away with no money in their pockets with no worry of bunk and chow til next port or liberty or payday or port call and do it all over again.

    The only time the girls see farang is throwing money up in the air and running out from under it, so they get the idea that we are rich and never worry about money, ever, and that the streets in the USA are paved in gold and all we have to do to get more money is go to the ATM., and have him send money when he goes home, so what do you expect them to think as that is all they have ever saw of farang.
    Get married to a farang, go to his home, and start to run up bills on credit cards or force him to spend beyond his means and when he refuses, she moves in with his best friend who is better looking and seems to have more money.
    As has been said, "you can take a girl out of a bar, but you can not take the bar out of the girl"
    I have had no dealings with those type girls in 25 years, I am married to a lady that has a advanced education and was self supporting for years before she ever met me, we have been married over 5 years and have never had any problems with or over money and foresee none.
    I did first talk to her on an INTERNET chat and we got acquainted and married sometime later. But it was not a dating site.
    I went to Pattaya last year for the first time in 40 years, and it has grown from 3 bars and a hotel to a very big tourist trap that is still doing business the same as before but on a much larger scale, and the same things are going on now as then,, undoubtably with the same results.

    "Vintage" at 26 years of age????
    Last edited by FaranginPhetch; 27-11-06 at 09:32 AM.

  9. #9
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    Re: How the Internet paints a rosy glow of Asian brides

    I especially love the "lose ten kilos if you want to register" bit.

  10. #10
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    Re: How the Internet paints a rosy glow of Asian brides

    Well you know how it is, they want their sucess rate high for bragging rights,
    Kinda hard to get rid of them tubby ones. chubby ones.

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