Miss-communication?

[SFGuy]

Hello everyone, I've only been on this site for about a week reading all about the Thai culture. I must say its been very helpful and eye opening. Anyway, I wasn't necessarily looking for a Thai women but, I did meet a nice girl in working in a restaurant I frequent. After about 6 months of going in there I finally got the courage to ask for her number. We still haven't gone out as she is busy with school work etc...

She's 29 years old move here from Bangkok by herself and set herself up with a job, apt, and school. That, in and of itself I find very impressive. Anyway, I stopped by another restaurant she works at last week. She was very nice to me and spent some time talking with me etc... She mentioned that her school is up in May and that she may stay on for another year, unless she met someone. (I imagine she'll stay on longer if that's the case) She also inferred that she is a bit lonely and is missing something in her life.

Anyway, I brought her a Holiday Card and thought it would be nice if I added something written in Thai to let her know I was thinking of her culture. I wrote "sòok-săn nák-kàt-rík" When I gave it to her she looked a bit perplexed and asked if it was written in Thai. I said yes, but, apparently it was foreign to her. I was trying to write Happy Holidays!

So, can anyone tell me if that in fact does mean Happy Holidays or how it could have been perceived? I was just trying to do something nice. Also, after reading all the info on here about Thai women looking for men with money etc....I'm a bit confused. Can anyone comment on an independent Thai women moving to US for schooling and work. Any advice on how I might proceed with the cultural differences etc...would be appreciated as well. I'm just looking for a nice girl to spend some time with and see where it goes.

Any inital advice?
Thanks

[TK]

I wrote "sòok-săn nák-kàt-rík"

did you write in Thai alphabet (ÊØ¢Êѹµì¹Ñ¡¢ÑµÄ¡Éì) or just used English alphabet (complete with those tone marks)?

If it was me and it was in English alphabet, I might be unable to work it out straightaway what you try to say especially if you included the tone mark because it confused me and shut down my Karaoke thai function (Karaoke Thai is when Thai written using English alphabet) until you told me it is 'Happy Holidays' so I translate backward to get ÊØ¢Êѹµì¹Ñ¡¢ÑµÄ¡Éì

If you wrote in Thai I probably gather that you want to say "Happy Holidays" though there is no such phrase because ¹Ñ¡¢ÑµÄ¡Éì (nák-kàt-rík) is refered to Bank Holidays or Government Holiday etc. it does not mean holiday season.

If you want to use ÊØ¢Êѹµì (sòok-săn), you should be specific the "day" of the occasion in this form ...
ÊØ¢Êѹµì(Happy)+Çѹ(Day)+occasion
e.g.
- ÊØ¢ÊѹµìÇѹà¡Ô´ = Happy Birthday
- ÊØ¢ÊѹµìÇѹ»ÕãËÁè = Happy New Year (this one is exception, you can also just say ÊØ¢Êѹµì»ÕãËÁè (without Çѹ)
- ÊØ¢ÊѹµìÇѹÇÒàŹ䷹ì = Happy Valentine Day
- ÊØ¢ÊѹµìÇѹµÃØɨչ = Happy Chinese New Year
- ÊØ¢ÊѹµìÇѹʧ¡ÃÒ¹µì = Happy Song Kran (or Thai New Year)
etc.

I can't think of any thai phrase that would mean 'Happy Holidays' , the best I can think of is 'Happy/Merry Christmas' = ÊØ¢ÊѹµìÇѹ¤ÃÔÊÁÒʵì
etc.

So that's done with language advice Re: relationship advice, I am not very good at it, plus, everyone has their own situation, we just can't generalise people. IMO all usual common sense applied, no matter what nationality and as long as you are happy in what you choose to do. Good luck

[FaranginPhetch]

OK, here is what I would suggest, she lives and works in the US, she must be fairly proficent in English, and you seem to be weak in Thai and if you are not real swift you might just say something that you can not get out of.
I can't see where writing in Thai will do you any more good than saying exactly what you mean in English.
Do to the fact that Thai do not celebrate Xmas I don't think that it has much to do with her, new years, Yes they do that here as often as they can, they will celebrate new years often.
There are good women everywhere so do not worry about that for awhile, just take her out and enjoy yourself, you can worry about your use of Thai language when you are more sure of yourself and her.

[Marie]

Anyway, I brought her a Holiday Card and thought it would be nice if I added something written in Thai to let her know I was thinking of her culture. I wrote "sòok-săn nák-kàt-rík" When I gave it to her she looked a bit perplexed and asked if it was written in Thai. I said yes, but, apparently it was foreign to her. I was trying to write Happy Holidays!

In the first place, it seems "Happy Holidays" is not a common greeting among Thais, the way it is among Americans, for example. From my observation, that term is more common among countries which celebrate Christmas, and so the greeting covers both Christmas and New Year. (Am I right?)

Being a non-Christian country, Thailand does not celebrate Christmas in a big way. But it does January 1, one of its New Years. That is why I think Thais tend to send Happy New Year greetings much more than Christmas.

I understand your intent to inject local color or a personal touch to a greeting. But if we do not have a good grasp of the language I think it is better to borrow an expression which has been used by a local speaker--just to be on the safe side.

[FaranginPhetch]

wow glad you backed me up on all that I had suggested Mari.
Kind of repetitive tho, don't you think?

[Marie]

wow glad you backed me up on all that I had suggested Mari.
Kind of repetitive tho, don't you think?

After rereading your earlier post, I'd agree that my own reply might sound kind of repetititive. The truth is, for some reason I failed to read your previous post thoroughly. Mea culpa. I hope you don't send me to jail for plagiarism. 555

[FaranginPhetch]

well I kinda said thanks didn't I

[FaranginPhetch]

My wife read that and she was very upset about putting Thai women down, so I reported it, I didn't think to much of it.

[SFGuy]

Thank you everyone, you comments all very helpful.

FaranginPhetch, I apologize if your wife viewed my comments as "putting That women down". That is the last think I intended to do, in fact thats why I posted in this forum. All of my information on Thai women/ culture has pretty much been gained from this site and there seemed to be a lot of discussion about that throughout.

I assume she's referring to this comment "Also, after reading all the info on here about Thai women looking for men with money etc....I'm a bit confused. Can anyone comment on an independent Thai women moving to US for schooling and work."

That thought never crossed my mind until I was reading posts on this site. So, please express my apologies.

Eric

[FaranginPhetch]

NO NO SFGUY, not yours, nothing you said was out of the way at all,

It was an old forum regular that continues to denigrate Thai women, I read his post and just shined it off as a usual post from him, then last night I was going over this thread and my wife was reading it and saw post and made a comment, I reported it and they dumped it.

Treat this girl just as you would any other lady, as she is just another lady, no more, no less.
when a Thai lady is brought into the conversation, seems like most folks go off Racist when there is no need, why can't people just treat others as they like to be treated and be comfortable with that.
I think if she is treat as you would treat any other woman you will get on fine and later you can get into learning Thai Cultures and Language, she will pobly enjoy that more than you trying to do something you know nothing about and maybe doing something wrong.