What should I do if I want to marry a Thai

[FaranginPhetch]

First, save the money, you need to pay 'dowry'. Second, get a good and solid paid job, your new extended family will like to see that happens before you ask the permission to marry.

IO guess that lets you out Bucky.555

[BUCKY]

IO guess that lets you out Bucky.555

Ya still saving on that sin sot thingy.

[erynnbanks]

Also,There're lots of Thai ladies thinking thery're Julia Roberts and waiting for their Richard Gere here na (( Nothing wrong for having this idea though )).

Errr... Richard Gere? He's kinda old, er.. old..yeah, sorta umm.. old..LOL; and Julia Roberts..well, she's already got twin, has she?....hehehe Nah, not sure any Thai wanna be them.

[geNe36]

Sin Sot? i guess.. if her parents is those not 'money minded' and only want happiness for their daughter, i heard they might not even DEMAND for sin sot... is that true? that was what my girl told me....

[David_Loves_Ubonwan]

Yes.

David

[pclev]

Sin Sot? i guess.. if her parents is those not 'money minded' and only want happiness for their daughter, i heard they might not even DEMAND for sin sot... is that true? that was what my girl told me....

You could probably get away with a Zero sin sod just fine. That does not mean that you are smart or frugal with your money. Even though it is an old custom that is not required; you may want to think about what you are asking of the woman that you "love".
Tata Young (a Thai Pop Singer) was just requested for THB 100,000,000. She is rich, her parents are rich, and her fiance is rich: why do you think this family goes through the motion of sin sod? Answer: it is about the "face" of the Bride for earning a respectable sin sod. It is about the "face" of the Groom for advancing himself to a level that he can afford a respectable sin sod. It is about the "face" of the Bride's and Groom's Parents for doing a good job raising their children.
What you are proposing in "bypassing" the tradition of sin sod is to cheat your wife and yourself out of the opportunity to make "face". Of course this means nothing to you, but you need to consider the true feelings of the woman you love. She will have given herself to a man that finds her value to be Zero: this is the Thai mindset. She and her parents will be considered crazy to give her away without a sin sod (they will be reminded about it often). Your farang thinking has consequences in the Thai culture.

Here is what you need to do: Make arrangements through your gf with her parents to give a high percentage of the sin sod back to you just after the wedding. They will get high "face" for giving the money to help you and your new wife start your new life. You need to leave some of the money with Dad and Mom because when you marry a Thai woman you marry her parents also.
In the unlikely case her parents keep all of the sin sod in a breach of the agreement: they will loose all "face" and you can justify not supporting them in the future (I really don't see that happening). Besides, it is better to learn this kind of thing early.
Hopefully your wife will have only this one wedding day in her life and you should truly consider how special you want to make it for her.

Remember: You get what you pay for. I would not fancy having a Zero wife.

[lenss]

Face this and face that.. are these everyday people? Well maybe some of them are more photogenic than others. Any comparision with american or european ways with this face stuff? The face stuff is over done. More honerable? Because this or that is presented or not presented. Like let's get real. I've been to the face thingee stuff... All face issues can be worked out. Without spending a fortune.

[FaranginPhetch]

Plus that, it is not

Even though it is an old custom

it is a fairly new one that was imported from China about the time that Farang started coming here in numbers.
But those that are suckered in like to claim that as a reason for falling for it.

[pclev]

Like let's get real. I've been to the face thingee stuff...

You may have been there but you didn't get it.
"My way or the highway" is an American mindset that the world is ready to get away from: literally. Some things are best left in America and some things are best left in Thailand.

it is a fairly new one that was imported from China about the time that Farang started coming here in numbers.

I don't know if your time-line is right or not; so we are talking about Marco Polo/15th century right?
The reality is this is an important custom for Thai people of every economic level. It still has significant meaning towards a Thai Family: especially in Issan.
My Thai brother-in-law is working his axx off to make a respectable request for his Thai girlfriend/fiancee. If he is willing to do that, then who am I to say that sin sod is a scam to relieve stupid Farang of their money.
Not participating in sin sod in most cases is offensive to Thai Families and a slap-in-the-face to a Thai Woman.
If the woman is previously married (and especially divorced) and has a kid or two; well then keeping your money makes perfect sense. Of course if you paid a small sin sod to give her "face" and her family "face" (even if you come out looking a little silly), then that would be a very honorable thing to do.

FiP: You live in Issan and know the drill very well. Put the garbage aside and point out anything that I have written that is not true.

[David_Loves_Ubonwan]

FiP: You live in Issan and know the drill very well. Put the garbage aside and point out anything that I have written that is not true.

Fip lives in Phetchabun, when did Phetchabun get relocated from Northern Thailand to Isaan?

David