PHP Warning: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead in ..../includes/class_bootstrap.php(433) : eval()'d code on line 110
engagement
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 30

Thread: engagement

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    engagement

    Hey all, just wanted to ask if anyone has ever heard of family's asking for sinsod just to get engaged to their daughter. I know I havent, and doupt that I would be so foolish as to do anything like that. Anyways, the amount they are asking for is 60,000 baht just to be engaged. I havent met the fam yet, and from my viewpoint doupt I will. Sounds like they think I am an atm. But who knows,

    Thanks for any and all imput or rude remarks against my character.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    30,363
    Thanks
    6,408
    Thanked 5,318 Times in 3,446 Posts

    Re: engagment

    Welcome to the forum Skillz-can you tell us a little more about the lady concerned, what you know of her family and how you met?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: engagment

    sure, I was in thailand about 3 months ago and met her in a popular drinking establishment frequented by thai females, and farang males. eyes met across the dance floor, turns out we have alot in common. Anyways, I have kept in daily contact with her and she has gone home to visit with her folks. When I told her that I am getting 3b'd from the army and I plan on living on my pension in thailand for a while she suggested that we get engaged. I have never been proposed to and don't really know how to say no. I told her that it was alot to think about and I wasn't really sure. Dont know if she completely understood as the next thing I get an email saying that she had asked her fam and they said sure as long as I agree to 50 or 60,000 baht sinsod for the engagement (keeps changing, and I have a hard time keeping track.) The marriage sinsod will be discussed at a later date. Anyways, I know that I only knew her for a week, and even though we are in contact daily, the telephone and emails are a VERY poor substitute for a courtship. I tried to tell her that when I do come back that we could date a while and see where it goes from there. But I am getting the sense that 1. it's all or nothing baby. and 2. Look at the walking talking atm. Dont know what its saying but look at all the cash it can shell out.
    Maybe I am wrong, I dunno

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    เวลส์
    Posts
    8,410
    Thanks
    1,417
    Thanked 1,930 Times in 1,180 Posts

    Re: engagment

    According to Thai customs, a couple traditionally becomes engaged durning a ceremony known as 'Tong Mahn' ทองหมั้น. This is literally the giving of gold by the prospective groom to his Fiancee's parents, friends and family will attend this ceremony. In Thailand gold is measured in 'Baht' . One Baht of gold equals 1/2 a troy ounce (15.2g grams), in practise an odd number is never given so the minimum should be 2 Baht of gold.

    David
    My new travel blog: https://www.weekender.blog/

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: engagment

    ok, this is making more sense now. Her fam are farmers somewhere north. She told me where but my thai geography sucks. Her dad has 5 cows though, I know that.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    เวลส์
    Posts
    8,410
    Thanks
    1,417
    Thanked 1,930 Times in 1,180 Posts

    Re: engagment

    Back in February (the latest information I have) 2 Baht of Gold was valued at about 24,000 Baht in currency.

    David
    My new travel blog: https://www.weekender.blog/

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA, USA
    Posts
    2,133
    Thanks
    794
    Thanked 640 Times in 328 Posts

    Re: engagment

    So, basically, a BG you met while on holiday wants 60,000 for you to be able to say you are engaged to her. Unless you are living in Thailand, or are making preparations to take her to your country, I would give the whole idea a pass. Additionally, I would visit her family home first and feel out the situation, just to see if they are of generally good character. Make it clear that you will not be "engaged" until firm plans are made. If she wants you to send money every month in the mean time, send no more than 6,000 per month to start. If she complains or begins to tell stories about sick relatives or livestock, bells should begin to go off.

    I put up half of what I was willing to give at the ceremony David referred to, which took place at the village. It involved monks, white string, tying strings around our wrists, and a bunch of other stuff I can't remember. Once the visa was approved and she got on the plane, I arranged to send the other half of the agreed-upon amount. I am very happy with the outcome, but I think I just got lucky. We have built a small house near the in-laws and have been back several times over the past few years. Relations are generally good with the in-laws and locals. Best of luck in whatever you decide.
    Life is learning. If you stop learning, you might as well be dead.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    4,464
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: engagment

    I would not give her anything, nor would I send her a monthly income.

    Infact I would just forget the whole thing, you can do a lot better if you do live here, But I would also give Pattaya and BKK a wide berth and any of the females working there.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    N/A
    Posts
    7,491
    Thanks
    4,204
    Thanked 3,588 Times in 1,854 Posts

    Re: engagment

    Quote Originally Posted by skillz View Post
    sure, I was in thailand about 3 months ago and met her in a popular drinking establishment frequented by thai females, and farang males. eyes met across the dance floor, turns out we have alot in common. Anyways, I have kept in daily contact with her and she has gone home to visit with her folks. When I told her that I am getting 3b'd from the army and I plan on living on my pension in thailand for a while she suggested that we get engaged. I have never been proposed to and don't really know how to say no. I told her that it was alot to think about and I wasn't really sure. Dont know if she completely understood as the next thing I get an email saying that she had asked her fam and they said sure as long as I agree to 50 or 60,000 baht sinsod for the engagement (keeps changing, and I have a hard time keeping track.) The marriage sinsod will be discussed at a later date. Anyways, I know that I only knew her for a week, and even though we are in contact daily, the telephone and emails are a VERY poor substitute for a courtship. I tried to tell her that when I do come back that we could date a while and see where it goes from there. But I am getting the sense that 1. it's all or nothing baby. and 2. Look at the walking talking atm. Dont know what its saying but look at all the cash it can shell out.
    Maybe I am wrong, I dunno
    It surely is a lot to think about. Why rush into engagement when you have doubts about the whole thing? So what if she proposed to you! You are not obliged to accept her proposal!

    If I were you I would like to know much better first any girl I would get engaged to. Or else you might get into deeper trouble.

    Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or an idiot from any direction.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: engagment

    You guys are bang on right, and I suppose that the only reason that I am even flirting with the idea of marriage is that I am getting medicaled out of the army which has been my life for as long as I can remember. And believe me if you saw the girls around the paticular "army town" that I live in, a thai bg who only wants my cash is actually a HUGE step in the right direction lol. But I think you are right, from what I understand about the whole marriage thing is that its fairly permanent. I don't know if I found the "one" and I dont want to find myself is some situation I can't handle down the road if I keep on this. So I definatly appriciate all the advice you guys give.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •