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Is it love?!? i would love your opinions! - Page 5
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  1. #41
    dinkum Guest
    Breed~!

  2. #42
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    Congrats Angel FA! Im in a similar situation to you, and hopefully will be tying it soon too. Im 22 and my fiancee is 20. Im currently in the UK, and im moving out there to be with her soon.
    Im a love cynic, ive been through the endless, "i thought it was real love" things before. Im a cynic about marriage, being most people ive ever seen married are now divorced.

    I do believe love at first sight exists, and happens all the time. The test is whether the love gets stronger, or starts to fade away. In your case i think it'll get stronger. You'll soon find out if its only lust. But i also believe that you can have that bond from the moment you meet, it whether you want to work on it. Love is not an effortless thing, it'll take patience, understanding, and some elbow-grease to make it into the healthy relationship you want.

    SoiNana, your advice is well heeded, and from someone else who has been throught the bad times with someone, i agree with you.

    Everyone wants that, fall in love and live happily ever after, movie style love, and for a few people it does happen. I wont judge your relationship, as people judge mine.
    My gf, works in a bar (hold on, i can hear the comments coming&#33, and as such i get told, "it wont work", "she only wants your money" etc etc...
    But i know what i feel for her, and even thought were apart, i feel stronger love for her everyday.

    My situation is a little different though. Im going out there on a 3 month tourist visa, to spend time with her. So, if it all goes wrong, i can just come home. If all goes well, wedding bells will be ringing, and thats what i suggest you do too.

    As for the "how can you love someone based on first impressions?", you make your PERMANENT impression of someone in the first 3 seconds of meeting them, and that'll never change, no matter how long you know them. Humans base every interaction with a person on that first impression. If its a good one, then theres hope!

    Whatever happens, i wish you the best of luck, and if your ever want to talk to someone in the same situation email me or catch me on MSN at: grim_marmazet@hotmail.com

  3. #43
    delawang Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (grim_marmazet @ Mar. 14 2004,03:16)]As for the "how can you love someone based on first impressions?", you make your PERMANENT impression of someone in the first 3 seconds of meeting them, and that'll never change, no matter how long you know them. Humans base every interaction with a person on that first impression. If its a good one, then theres hope!
    I don't agree with you on this one. First impressions are not so important in a relationship. You may always remember your first impression, but it will not be the way you feel forever. The world changes, and people's feelings change too. If you forget that people change you will end up living in the past.

    The only things you can be sure about are that nothing stays the same, and that one day your wife will disappoint you and one day you will disappoint her. When this happens, some relationships survive and some don’t.

    If you got this far in the thread, you know I don’t believe that long western-style romances and serial dating make for happy relationships. I think you should follow your heart, and I hope you and your girlfriend have what it takes to make the relationship work. Based on a lot of things you wrote, it sounds like you do. Since your girlfriend is Thai, she probably does too. Best of luck to both of you.

    del

  4. #44
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    Thank you, didnt mean to promote conflict. I read a report somewhere saying your brain sub-conciously bases all relationship actions on what was decided by it during your first encounter with said person. Im not a psycologist though, so i could be wrong, lol.

    My gf is wonderful, and id move heaven and earth for her. I know she feels the same for me. Beyond simply her telling me, i can FEEL that she loves me. Thats how i know im in love. I met her at her work, and that was a bar. That will make people think of the typical situation that happens, bar girl taking a farang blind. But my gf isnt like that. She didnt want me to spend money on her, even beyond the polite "no, it's ok". She is warm, gentle and kind, and can do quite a funny impression of the British accent.
    I know it was my fate to meet her, at that time, in that place.

    But to the eternal question of whether love at first sight exists, i think its down to your personal definition of love. For some, its a long built process, of getting to know a person, and goes through friendship. For others love can appear in an instant, and disappear just as quick. For me, Love found me, i had no intention of looking for it. When i met my gf, i didnt actually want to go out with anyone, now im looking at getting married.

    The only advice i can give to anyone in this sort of situation is this; when you are truly in love, you WILL know. You wont know how you know, but you'll feel it in your heart. You'll be willing to do anything for the person you love. You'd give up your dreams, your saftey, everything you've gained in life, even your life.
    Love is the most powerful force in the world, and when you feel it truly you'll never let go.
    Just follow your heart, it may lead you astray at times but it'll get you where you want to be.

    Sorry to ramble, im just a romantic at heart, and think this world needs more love.

    Afterall, in the immortal words of John and Paul;
    "All you need is love"

    How true




  5. #45
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    well confict happens in forums
    Follow your heart;but make sure it is connected to your brain. Good luck with life.

  6. #46
    delawang Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (grim_marmazet @ Mar. 14 2004,05:56)]I read a report somewhere saying your brain sub-conciously bases all relationship actions on what was decided by it during your first encounter with said person
    Unfortunately, this is true for some people. I think if you can avoid it, you are better off not one of those people. Who wants to go through life cloaked in prejudice?

    I have to say, one of the things I like about this board is the number of young people who are in love and not afraid to take chances. It is really inspirational for us older people. As we get older, many of us become cynical. We have seen so much and had so many bad experiences, it is hard to get enthusiastic about anything.

    I would guess Angel and Chalermchai are doing very well, Adrian has not been so lucky, and Falcoe . . well it is hard to guess on that one. But you, Koon Grim- you can be a winner. What are your plans? What are you going to do next?

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (delawang @ Mar. 14 2004,23:07)]
    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (grim_marmazet @ Mar. 14 2004,05:56)]I read a report somewhere saying your brain sub-conciously bases all relationship actions on what was decided by it during your first encounter with said person
    Unfortunately, this is true for some people. I think if you can avoid it, you are better off not one of those people. Who wants to go through life cloaked in prejudice?

    I have to say, one of the things I like about this board is the number of young people who are in love and not afraid to take chances. It is really inspirational for us older people. As we get older, many of us become cynical. We have seen so much and had so many bad experiences, it is hard to get enthusiastic about anything.

    I would guess Angel and Chalermchai are doing very well, Adrian has not been so lucky, and Falcoe . . well it is hard to guess on that one. But you, Koon Grim- you can be a winner. What are your plans? What are you going to do next?
    Unfortunately, living in London is enough to make anyone cynical. Its a sad fact of British life. One of the many reasons i want to leave.

    My personal plans are to got back to Thailand on a 60 day tourist visa, with a 30 day extension. Im absolutly sure that my relationship is right and what i want to do, but my London cynical side comes out and i want a little protection.
    In the 3 months im there, im gonna get married and spend my life with the woman i love.

    She has made me feel alive again, and im now no longer cynical about love and marriage. I want to open Phuket's first punk/metal venue, a relatively untapped resource.
    She is behind me 100% on anything i do, and we have an unconditional love that is rare. I know i sound like a fool in love, and maybe i am. But im willing to take the risk. I could lose everything, but i dont care because im so sure.

    Love is about risks, you face the constant threat of being left on your own, or rejected. But if you dont take the risks, life is not worth living. The excitement of going for that dream, the thrill of taking that chance, and the posibility you could lose everything. There the reasons im doing it, besides the blissful love i feel.

    To anyone who is worried about a situation like this, id say go for it. You never know, if you dont, you might regret it all your life. Thats my advice.

  8. #48
    delawang Guest
    Visa runs from Phuket are easy.

    I hope the music thing works out. Parties are (or at least used to be) a good way to start. Print fliers, rent some warehouse space and have a great time. You can make a lot of money, then later you can go for something permanent.

  9. #49
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    Some sound advice, thank you. Im lucky enough to have a few friends in the UK music industry, who can be persuaded to send some bands my way as well. No-one huge mind you, lol.

    Where is the best place to do a visa run to when in Phuket?




  10. #50
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    Im sick of people in other forums and who i know in RL trying to make me paranoid. It gets to me sometimes. I guess its loneliness and being so far from the person i love. Im going back soon, and when i get my venue going, forum members get in free!

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