Lost and confused

[annabee]

Hey every1 how are u? umm I posting this kinda longish post because i figured if there was anywhere i could get an "experienced, wide ranging and most importantly "objective outsiders" point of view if would be from all of you right I know this reallly doesnt fit this forum but didnt know where else to post this.

well my background I probrably dont have 2 fill u in on cause its in another post labelled "I am not wat i am supposed to be"..Newayz as much as i am comfortable and content with who i am..I am nearing the end of my universty years..this is my last semester I am finding myself questioning alot of things that never occured to me before..or maybe I was ignoring them...

I am finding myself questioning if this course i am doing at uni is really wat I wanted to do or am I doing it because my family especially my mum wanted me too...Getting a degree is a big deal in my house..I am so unhappy with the direction I am going in but i am afraid to mention it to my family..I just want to go and say "Maa Jaaa nooo mai yark lien lao' translation mummy I dont want to do this anymore..I just feel like there has to be a better way..because if I liked and enjoyed the course I am sure I would be applying myself but everyday I walk into that class i feel like its a chore that I have to get it "over and done with"...

The second problem is convincing my mum to let me go back to thailand to live for a year or so because I know who I am but I dont know who I want to be or become..A very big part of me wats to explore my thai side...just go to thailand and live like every other thai..I want to really be able to speak , read and write thai...but most importantly I want to do something that I decide ...I dont know wat it is i am looking for or what i want I just know wat i am doing now isnt it.

I have so many thoughts running through my head but I cant seem to ask them to the ones I love. I am admitting that i am afraid to dissapoint them because i have always been a "by the book" kind of person...

1) is it possible to learn thai in six months?
2)do u think I am running away from my problems?
3)do u think there is a better solution than going to thailand?
4)do u think i should quit universty?
5)do u think I should change courses at universty?
6) is it possible to get a teaching job in thailand for somebody like me?
7)Is it crazy of me to want something but not know what that is?

I know I have a lot of questions but I also dont have any clear answers at this stage can anyone help me

Thanks in advance

[Rambutan]

1. - You can learn pretty much in 6 month if you are serious about it.

2. - No

3. - Going anywhere would be OK. Geting away for a while to get different input can be a good thing to do. It will certainly help you to see things clearer.

4. - No, under no circumstances. Not in your last year. You would regret it later, for shure!

5. - Finish what you have started. You can take different courses later. Even if you do something different later, it feels always better to finish what one has started. I may even open the one or the other door in the future of which you are not aware right now.

6. - Yes, if you look like a farang or at least "klueng".

7. - No, not at all. I tink it's quait common in you situation. Doing something different for a year would probably help a lot. I know a lot people who have done that.

Good luck!

[delawang]

I started to post then I realize that I duplicated Rambutan's answers, which I guess makes me redundant. All I can add is that once you have a degree it will be easy for you to find a job in Thailand. If you stop school now it is hard to pick it up later. Just finish school and plan on getting a teaching job after you graduate. I can email you some info about it if you are interested.

Finishing college is like driving thru a dust storm. Just keep your hands on the wheel and keep going even though you can't see where you are headed. If you get of the road you may not be able to get back on.

[annabee]

thank you for your replys..I am really lost and your replys gave me something to think about.

I am a lil closer to a solution to my dilemma..I try not to think about it 2 much and just get on with finishing uni..but its harder everytime.

Though I have though decided that if I perservier and finish uni that I would reward myself with a trip to thailand..b/c my friends told me that I had no goal for wat I wanted to do after uni..no motivation so they said I should use this trip to thailand as my goal to reach for..wat do u all think?

[januspentium]

I know it's kinda hard to really figure out what do u really want to do...

I think what've you been doing so far is to please your parents and ONLY your parents not yourself. How could you let them push you around? There aren't many choices available for you now since you're a senior in college, but bite the bullet and try to graduate as soon as possible. And after that, take a year off to try to figure out what do you want out of life, and hey traveling would be fun. Live life one day at a time and try not to worry so much. I'm sure you'll figure everything out after you have a long break from those courses in college!!!

[annabee]

Just a little update..first of all thank you to each of you who viewed my topic and a very big thank you to all those who took the time to reply.

After much soul searching and alot of decisive decision making I have finally found the beginning of where i want to be and what I want to do.

I have decided to stay and finish uinvestry. It would be such a shame to pass up the oppurtinty of a universty education when so many others dont haveand when i am so close to finishing. Its something that like my mum says is with me for the rest of my life something no one can take away.

I have also decided that i want to go back to thailand after graduation to try teaching for at least 6 months..I need to experience life the way I want to ..by getting in touch with my thai side. Any advice on getting teaching jobs? or what I should do to make me a more appealing prospect in the english teachers job market?

This is just a beginning and I am really trying to just focus on the goal of graduating and worrying about what comes after it later.I guess all my doubts and self worrying came from being scared of getting out there in the "real world" and doing it for myself.

[dobolina]

Quote[/b] ]I guess all my doubts and self worrying came from being scared of getting out there in the "real world" and doing it for myself.

Focus on building self-confidence, then everything seems a bit easier.

[miss_khorat]

Ananbee your problems sound similar to mine!!!!! My mum is always on at me getting my degree etc, my dad is so-so, whatever makes me happy. What would I be happy in........... working in state gov dept. thats what i would be happy in! Alas, its the case of being a 'luek krueng', we have the advantage of looking and being differnt here in Australia, but still considered 'farlang' in Thailand!!!! I think goign to Thailand for work is an easy solution, however it becomes uneasy when u re-enter AUstralia as a) the money you earn there (unless its a very high professional occupation) will not be very beneficial to you, and still you would find it difficulat to find work. A friend of mine got a teaching job in Sisiket, after completing here degree here first.I took a semester off my studies to go visit relatives in Europe, was a real eye-opener, perhaps your urge to go back to Thailand be this solution, a temporary visit to revisit to culture and learn the langauge? By the way, where u from im from Brisbane, in SUnshine state

[mangomike]

Annabee, when you're young, sometimes it can be difficult to find your place in the world. Being a little nervous about stepping out in the world is perfectly normal.
You sound like a very intelligent young lady so im sure you'll be able to handle whatever comes your way.

Finishing your university education will accomplish two things.
1) It will make your mother happy and proud of you.
2) you will be happy and proud of yourself.
After you finish your studies and graduate, perhaps you should pursue teaching for a year and do a little soul searching.
One thing you don't want to do is get stuck doing something that doesn't bring you happiness and fulfillment.

I wish you all the luck in making a decision that's right for you.
Chok dee.