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Relationship Update from Chaang - Page 14
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  1. #131
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    Re: Relationship Update from Chaang

    Quote Originally Posted by chaang View Post
    Excuse me Sved but exactly why should I be ashamed of myself? Go ahead and tell me, what is in their best interest? Do you think that just walking out of their lives and not speaking to them again is best? Do you think that seeing their mother dead from suicide is best?
    How about pretending to be a father, or at least a partner to their mum, while u are looking for a way out?

    How about sticking around long enough for them to be emotionally attached, so u can be sure they get hurt when u walk away?

    Probably like ur gf, if u ever break up, but at least she's an adult person.

  2. #132
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    Re: Relationship Update from Chaang

    Do the phrases "co-dependent" and "enabling" ring a bell?

    There is a whole world out there filled with children, and single mothers with children, that need to be cared for. Many more who's plight is far worse than this situation.
    Last edited by bassai; 12-02-09 at 02:51 AM. Reason: Grammer?
    "It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little." Sydney Smith

    May all beings be happy, may all beings have peace.

  3. #133
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    Re: Relationship Update from Chaang

    Quote Originally Posted by Sved View Post
    How about pretending to be a father, or at least a partner to their mum, while u are looking for a way out?

    How about sticking around long enough for them to be emotionally attached, so u can be sure they get hurt when u walk away?

    Probably like ur gf, if u ever break up, but at least she's an adult person.
    Sved, I think you are operating on the assumption that I am actually there with them. I am not. I am 7500 miles away and the kids are usually in school when I call my GF. I don't think they are going to be any more emotionally attached if I take some time to figure out the best way to do this.

    Chaang

  4. #134
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    Re: Relationship Update from Chaang

    Quote Originally Posted by chaang View Post
    Sved, I think you are operating on the assumption that I am actually there with them. I am not. I am 7500 miles away and the kids are usually in school when I call my GF. I don't think they are going to be any more emotionally attached if I take some time to figure out the best way to do this.

    Chaang
    I'm well aware of you situation and I already said I believe you are underestimating the situation, unless ofc you believe u are never mentioned in the home, but by all means if you insist of keeping the charade up you can take another 6 months to consider the situation.

  5. #135
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    Re: Relationship Update from Chaang

    Quote Originally Posted by chaang View Post
    Thank you for this very thoughtful post. I appreciate your viewpoint. I hope you are right about her not killing herself.

    I'm not currently in Thailand. I'm back in the States, but I don't think it helps all that much.

    She does have a problem with her hand/arm right now. Maybe tendinitis. She has been complaining about pain since before any mention of a breakup, so I know it's not made up. That is why I offered to keep supporting her for a while, so she has a chance to heal.

    I think you are right about changing. I don't think either one of us would be happy in the long run if we have to change too much.

    Chaang
    Human is not immortal so sickness is normal. Don't you think she will have other illnesses after her tendinitis resolves?

    I don't hope that I would be right about anything. Everyone has his/her own karma. Sometimes things happen because of the previous life's karma. You cannot save the world.

    Anyway, I giveup I don't think you need advice because you already have answers for everything.

    Good luck and please tell us when you get married (to her).

    All the best to you and her.

  6. #136
    Deknoi Guest

    Re: Relationship Update from Chaang

    Kids complicate things, but they will get over it. You lingering around because you don't have the to hurt her is going to make things worse. You say you want to:
    take some time to figure out the best way to do this.
    Sorry but, how much figuring out of the best way to break up with someone do you need? If you're about 40-50, by now you must know that no way is going to be sunshine and roses for her.

  7. #137
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    Re: Relationship Update from Chaang

    OMG. I have just stumbled across this thread and spent the best part of an hour reading every post. Is this for real?

    Chaang, seriously, try to see this as everyone else here does.

    Go back over your own previous posts and replace the words "I" and "my" with "you " and "your" and you might get an insight all on your own without any advice.

    You must have heard the alarm bells ringing a long time ago, or you would not have posted your situation here in the first place.

    You have recieved over 100 posts in response, some good and some bad, but none the less other peoples opinions which it seems you almost completely ignored.

    This relationship has been a very poor investment on your behalf, both financially and more damagingly for you, emotionally.

    But you already know this right?

    Working 6 days a week to support your family, you should be commended.
    working 6 days a week to support someone elses lifestyle, then you should be commited.

    I think you know what you need to do. End it quickly and cleanly.
    It will be better in the long run for all involved.

  8. #138
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    Re: Relationship Update from Chaang

    Hello Everyone,

    I thought I would check in here and give you an update. Thank you syn, Deknoi and tomboR for your comments.

    Syn, there will be no wedding. It is over.

    Yes, I am still sending her a small amount to get by on untill she finds work. She says she is looking, but of course you all know the situation there is not the best right now. I just consider it my charity money.

    I have started a new relationship with someone here in the U.S.. She is Vietnamese but grew up here. I actually have known her for several years but we only started dating a couple of months ago. We are both very much in love and I am reminded once again what that is supposed to feel like. She has her own business and doesn't want or need my money. She loves me for who I am.

    Time will tell if this new relationship works out in the long run. Either way, I know that I never would have been happy with my Thai GF. I can't help but feel sorry for her but I'm sure she'll get by.

    I know I've been very hard-headed and took a long time to see the light but I do thank you all for your advice and opinions even If I didn't agree with everything.

    Chaang

  9. #139
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    Re: Relationship Update from Chaang

    I really appreciate that you keep coming back and updating us, not just hit and run.
    I wish you a lot of happiness in your new relationship.

  10. #140
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    Re: Relationship Update from Chaang

    I also commend you for coming back and telling us your updates even though there were some stern words said to you from some members, myself included.

    I'm glad you did see the light and I apologise if anything I said offended you in any way, but I think it needed to be said. I don't like to hear of men struggling to send money to their girlfriends while the GFs stay at home and worry about nothing, and worse still, have the cheek to ask for more. These women are a scourge on the reputation of decent Thai women, of whom there are many.

    I'm sure your ex will be fine.

    I wish you good luck and hapiness in your new relationship.

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