What does she see in me?

[oeshidez]

You can do whatever, don t let the love blind you.

[Betti]

If someone speak to me like that I consider it impolite.

Peace.

maybe I am old-fashioned but I consider it impolite if someone says I don't know anything because I am a woman.

[KoonKap]

maybe I am old-fashioned but I consider it impolite if someone says I don't know anything because I am a woman.

Definitely agree no doubt about that.

Peace.

[obble80]

Well thank you for all your comments. Its been 3 weeks now, I still think of her alot, I still have feelings for her after all of this so I cannot say I am over her, but I can say it is over. I feel oddly peaceful about it all now, I can't help feeling I should be angry but I am not I am just sad for her and for me. Is this a character flaw?

I was taken in and was very foolish, but I don't believe I saw thailand through a cracked glass. I knew almost nothing about thailand before I met her so you might say I was not looking at all. You could certainly say I was looking at her through rose tinted glasses however.

You could easily say I was a loser and had no life and you would be right, certainly I was told this at school and sometimes throughout college. However I never truly understood what they meant.

It's only when I look back now that I know that they cruel as they where were right, but then the truth is often cruel. I had spent most of my time on my own at home reading, learning, building and writing while the others spent theirs out in pubs, clubs and bars. To sum up I never socialized, never learnt any social skills, had very few friends.

So just 3 and a half years ago, I literaly woke up and was able to think objectively about my deep lonliness. I got up and saw the world around me, I looked around myself saw knowledge, prestege, an excellent career, anything materialistic I had truly wanted. And I realized that I had nothing that mattered.

I wanted to change, I knew I must change, so I set about it. I started dieting with very poor results but results none the less.

I was becoming a little more confident, I started to socialize with colleagues and was gradually able to start talking to women.

I started asking women out, signed up to a few dating sites. Almost without exception leading to a rejection, I knew the reasons of course, women are for the most part not attracted to men who are fat, have no self confidence and are nerdy (you might be able to get away with being one, but not all 3).

I started to slowly lose weight, at the point of my realization I weighed 172kg, results where very slow coming and it was not until a year and a half later, joining a gym and much giving up, gaining it back and restarting that I reached 161kg.

So you can imagine my suprise when after 2 years of rejection, desperation and despair that when I ask this beautiful asian lady who I saw at the bar of the indian resutuarent in Holborn people from the office often go to if she would like to go out sometime and maybe see Jack Dee (the receptionist at our office always is able to magically get free tickets for shows in london somehow) that she said yes.

This had a huge impression on me and frankly in the year and a bit I spent with her I was the happiest I had ever been. I was more determined than ever especially after going to thailand to see her to continue losing weight and becoming a more complete person.

I have learned some hard lessons, some expensive and painful lessons. But even after the betrayal I realise that even though I was giving her money she gave me something worth so much more.

She gave me hope, and to quote "hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

She almost made me realize that not to be foolish, to not take risks is not to live.

I am now 146kg, I have more self-confidence, more social skills and best of all I have hope. I will go on looking for love no matter how foolish, no matter what mistakes I make or how painful it will be because I have hope that one day I will find it.

[ian71]

your honesty is fine, but the reality is you need to learn from your mistakes and not get burned twice!
these comments are fine but!

She gave me hope, and to quote "hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

She almost made me realize that not to be foolish, to not take risks is not to live.

I am now 146kg, I have more self-confidence, more social skills and best of all I have hope. I will go on looking for love no matter how foolish, no matter what mistakes I make or how painful it will be because I have hope that one day I will find it.[/QUOTE]

you realise your-self size and looks have been a big factor, now at 146kg is good but still lots to lose unless your well over 6ft, 100 to 110kg is top of the range for health factors that's 15.5-17.3 stone so still big guy if you can get down to that sort of weight you self confidence will go sky high,

if your heart is set on a Thai lady now please learn that making foolish or painful mistakes will just hurt you again and not help you find love, take it slow,
don't shower a partner with gifts or money or instant promises of marriage, take things slow be your self,don't open your heart to the 1st beautiful smile,keep that key to your heart close to your chest, take your time, show you have a good heart,but your not a sucker and you ll have much more success,big money does not mean the same as good heart, its
an easy excuse for someone to take advantage because its easy,great book if you like reading is private dancer, i hope you have success and good luck in finding love, but look for friendship/relationships the rest will come easy,

[KoonKap]

Well thank you for all your comments. Its been 3 weeks now, I still think of her alot, I still have feelings for her after all of this so I cannot say I am over her, but I can say it is over. I feel oddly peaceful about it all now, I can't help feeling I should be angry but I am not I am just sad for her and for me. Is this a character flaw?

I was taken in and was very foolish, but I don't believe I saw thailand through a cracked glass. I knew almost nothing about thailand before I met her so you might say I was not looking at all. You could certainly say I was looking at her through rose tinted glasses however.

You could easily say I was a loser and had no life and you would be right, certainly I was told this at school and sometimes throughout college. However I never truly understood what they meant.

It's only when I look back now that I know that they cruel as they where were right, but then the truth is often cruel. I had spent most of my time on my own at home reading, learning, building and writing while the others spent theirs out in pubs, clubs and bars. To sum up I never socialized, never learnt any social skills, had very few friends.

So just 3 and a half years ago, I literaly woke up and was able to think objectively about my deep lonliness. I got up and saw the world around me, I looked around myself saw knowledge, prestege, an excellent career, anything materialistic I had truly wanted. And I realized that I had nothing that mattered.

I wanted to change, I knew I must change, so I set about it. I started dieting with very poor results but results none the less.

I was becoming a little more confident, I started to socialize with colleagues and was gradually able to start talking to women.

I started asking women out, signed up to a few dating sites. Almost without exception leading to a rejection, I knew the reasons of course, women are for the most part not attracted to men who are fat, have no self confidence and are nerdy (you might be able to get away with being one, but not all 3).

I started to slowly lose weight, at the point of my realization I weighed 172kg, results where very slow coming and it was not until a year and a half later, joining a gym and much giving up, gaining it back and restarting that I reached 161kg.

So you can imagine my suprise when after 2 years of rejection, desperation and despair that when I ask this beautiful asian lady who I saw at the bar of the indian resutuarent in Holborn people from the office often go to if she would like to go out sometime and maybe see Jack Dee (the receptionist at our office always is able to magically get free tickets for shows in london somehow) that she said yes.

This had a huge impression on me and frankly in the year and a bit I spent with her I was the happiest I had ever been. I was more determined than ever especially after going to thailand to see her to continue losing weight and becoming a more complete person.

I have learned some hard lessons, some expensive and painful lessons. But even after the betrayal I realise that even though I was giving her money she gave me something worth so much more.

She gave me hope, and to quote "hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

She almost made me realize that not to be foolish, to not take risks is not to live.

I am now 146kg, I have more self-confidence, more social skills and best of all I have hope. I will go on looking for love no matter how foolish, no matter what mistakes I make or how painful it will be because I have hope that one day I will find it.

It is good you step over this experience with fine thoughts and overwhelming confidence for the next.

Personally….she lost a gentleman.

Good luck for the future.

Peace.

[aardvark]

Fair play to you for telling this story. I take my hat off to you.

Looking back on the whole affair (sic)
- You are possibly in a better place with your self asteem
- You had a great time in a great country
- You now know what life should really feel like
- You didn't hook up with a time waster. (her loss)

I think you did pretty well to be honest. Next Time it could all be great. BUT don't judge everyone as though they might be a repeat of the last experience.

Someone once said to me...Enjoy it for what it is.....AND plan for the worst.

All the VERY best to you.

[Hp Xt]

I was taken in and was very foolish, but I don't believe I saw thailand through a cracked glass. I knew almost nothing about thailand before I met her so you might say I was not looking at all. You could certainly say I was looking at her through rose tinted glasses..

Bravo to you for posting your experiance, that took balls!

Don't let this setback sour you on Thailand. There are many women that would be happy to meet you, and don't think about weight as a major issue. I too am pom poui (fat), and my g/f is happy with my weight (thinks it makes it less probable that I will butterfly, or fool around).

I have many Thai friends who would want to meet you. Give me a shout if if you are interested.
HpXt

[sydneyvideo]

Hey Obble80..wow you really have bared your soul on this thread..good on you...being this honest with yourself is a major step to sorting your life out. I want to lose some weight myself and have just stumbled across an amazing man called Jon Gabriel (have you heard of him?) . If not have a look at his site (whoops can't post a link ..ok do a search on his name) and get his book (called the gabriel method)Forget dieting this makes far more sense.

I wish you good luck with everything in the future

[Navatar61]

Hmm "I'm not the smartest turkey in the coop, but I know when I'm being plucked" is my take I constantly think about my lady to the point of distraction, although the only time i hear from her is generally a call for money, not much else once she hear's that it's on its way, then i dont hear from her for a couple of weeks...time to get the alarm bells out..

Here is what to do if you are truly worried about being the fat farang like me first of all have some respect and loose the weight..i did. Snack in the morning about 10am chilli pie (i do I.T work also) and dinner even takeaways, so i dont go to sleep on an empty stomach...thats it my friend no fancy diet no nothing just that.. well it worked for me lost 11 kilo's in three months.

You have to have self respect to be truly good to yourself, and truly love the people in your life - unfortunatley that includes making decisions like I'm thinking I might have to make very soon, although I love my girl, I havent told her that....here.. it.. is...but.. I cant help but feeling used, and as for being in an isolated area and not being able to get phone calls...gosh she can certainly make them when the promised cash doesnt arrive as expected.. hmmm.. o.k...then.. really hard to get hold of her on the weekends or after 6pm at thai nighttime...hmmm..but not working or anything...She says many of her friends have many farang boyfriends suppossedly funding them.. but she says shes too old, not she doesnt want to...hmm...although regardless of which culture you are from having several suitors of the opposite sex must be flattering. And to have them sending money when you need it, who would look a gift farang in the mouth..as it were.

My friend, and to every one here, and this is way easier said than done, but many of us have done this in the past but ignored the signs to go back to the things you used to do when you had an indecision..even though you know you potentially wont like the answer... you have to be honest with yourself, you have to love yourself (not in the literal sense) and know that as long as your honest with how you feel and act then people will sense this and know you to be true.. but to get to the point.. make a list the for's and against's..

You do have to be honest like I am about my lady - bang money - bang dissappear for three weeks no contact no nothing..hmmm second time send money.. I only send her the odd sms twice a week same thing three weeks later finally get a call... sounds dodgey like she has another partner... never mind chin up and all that sort of thing. Trust yourself believe or ignore the ney sayer's at your peril, everyman wants to believe that his partner is not like the others while many arent many are you play the odds, weigh yours up on a piece of paper if you know you are lying to yourself its already too late. You have to break it straight away or you will continue to make concessions and excuses. Be proud of you my friend, everything you have is because of you, took sing thats is bad in your life is because of you wake up or go to sleep...sweet dream or beautiful nightmare that sort thing...

If your not sure adopt her attitude towards you and see how you feel, as that will be the feeling you may marry...

If it doesnt work out, again be honest dont make excuses for someone else because of your heart - (again this is where the being honest part to yourself comes into play).

A farang man in Phuket told me after I had been in phuket for about 4 days, "A farang man and his money are soon parted in Thia - if he isnt very very careful"

Words that are paying toll to me now.

Any ways enough of my agony aunt, and btw I'm not trying to put you off, I truly wish to you - All the best in your quest to find a soulmate... Like the song goes... everyone just wants to be loved...iP