relationship problem (or lack thereof?)

[y2long]

Well been nice is sometimes a good thing. Me and my gf have been together for 2 years now and to be ohnest i think only the last 8 months she has really started to realise that i am just a good guy and not out for 1 thing. Some Thai girls are just plain scared specially if they have been left by 1 or 2 men and have some children. Also they like confidence just like any other girl out there. But dont go looking for it, it should happen naturaly when you find somebody you get along with. Age definately dosent matter, i am 26 and my gf is 34 and we are so well matched it makes me wish i was born Thai. sorry guys im just rambling on, not really a point apart from just enjoy life to the fullest and you will meet somebody. Thailand is the greatest country in the world in my opinion. sorry i really cant spell lol.

True but sometimes there's the exact opposite where they would say "leave it to fate, if i'm meant to be cheated by another local men, then i cant do anything to change it"


Paul, i agree 199% on your previous post!

[james1]

I have this same problem. I've only been here about a year, but I can't even seem to get a date. I'm in Chiang Mai where things are a little different, I don't hang out in the tourist sectors, and I do have very high standards.

I'm 28 years old and good-looking. I wouldn't say that I have movie star looks but everywhere I go in America or Thailand people tell me I look like this or that famous movie star or musician. And I know Thai people are known for flattery but even on the rare occaisons I went out with other farangs I was always the one singled out at the table and complimented on my looks. I hang out with only Thais usually and speak a decent amount. I am also very friendly and outgoing--don't let the above comments about looks make you think I'm a narcissist.

I don't know where it ends--all the girls seem interested in me at first. But of course no one trusts me--you're too handsome; I don't believe you don't have a girlfriend. Huh? They have been saying that to me since I got here, so how can I ever have the chance to have a girlfriend? Your Thai is too good.

Women often have their brothers or friends introduce them, they often give me their phone numbers, but once it comes down to a phone call or text to re-break the ice they almost never answer. If they do answer they seem scared out of their minds to even talk to me let alone meet up with some friends for a bite. Some Thai friends are constantly asking me if I am gay because they are so confused about me not having a girlfriend yet.

I am not rich by any means, but I have a good lifestyle. Afterall, I'm only 28 and semi-retired living well in Thailand. I am an ambitious entrepreneur and writer, and though I realize money is more of an issue here I also know that having the qualities that lead to success are just as attractive in almost all cultures. I have those qualities.

I love it here, but honestly this is all really killing my self esteem, and I don't think I can stay here much longer if this keeps up. I've always been the guy with the best-looking girl and now I'm walking around dateless while I see these old guys with haggard eyes and huge beer guts walking around with beautiful women--not that I want the same kinds of girls they are usually with...There are surely some I could spend more time with if I chose, but they are the ones showing all the warning signs, and I steer clear.

I can hardly even find the motivation to have a conversation with women sometimes when they show interest because I'm certain it will just fizzle out again, and I guess I've gotten a little bitter. I'm all about going slow. I respect that being more of the norm here, and I always wished it were back home in America where most women my age seemed to be too promiscuous for my taste.

So, I don't know what the deal is either. Everyone tells me I'm a catch, but no one seems to be catching me. Some guys just don't understand Thai girls, I guess.

[Deknoi]

Do you have any female thai friends?

To elaborate on that a bit more, it seems to me that foreign men have a fairly bad reputation in Thailand and in 8/10 cases a handsome chap like you would be dipping his wick into several pots of wax every week. This may be why your introductions, which seem to be made with romance intended in the background, are failing.

Instead, you might try openly seeking friendship - ask a female Thai to practice language with or something along those lines. Then as the friendship progresses she'll see you're not a womaniser and even if you're not interested in that lady, it could build up your reputation as a decent guy.

[james1]

I've made arrangements to practice English or do other more innocent things with ladies I've met, but they still get cold feet when it comes to planning to meet at a later date. I also have Thai friends that are women, but usually they are my friend's girlfriends. And when we go out in the typical group of three, everyone seems to think its always my girlfriend, so that doesn't help my case either. lol Another point where they don't believe me until I have the girl in question confirm.

I know groups of girls that work at the nicer restaurants where I eat, and I don't make advances towards them, but they are always teasing me about being a player, which doesn't make sense because I'm always coming alone or with my friends. I must just be giving off that vibe or something.

Yes, I believe you are right--it is obviously a huge issue with trust and the reputation farang who have come before me have made. I think I will heed your advice on pursuing more male/ female relationships primarily built on friendship.

I appreciate your advice. I don't want to take over the thread. I just wanted to contribute here (as well as vent) and let the OP know he is not alone--regardless of the rep this country gets I believe some guys do face this problem.

[billk]

I am an ambitious entrepreneur and writer, and though I realize money is more of an issue here I also know that having the qualities that lead to success are just as attractive in almost all cultures. I have those qualities.

Every day I give thanks for being spared the burdens of excessive good looks, charm and wealth. Being ordinary and neither rich nor poor is great, it really is.

[Betti]

having a girlfriend, or having a Thai girlfriend in Thailand, is not a right, it is a possibility. I don't know you guys - maybe you are unlucky, maybe you are being misunderstood, maybe you are big-headed, the possible reasons are endless. but whatever it is, a little more humility wouldn't hurt.

[misterA]

reminds me of the song "Its Hard to be Humble" by Mac Davis

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror
Cuz I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
O Lord it's hard to be humble
But I'm doing the best that I can.

I used to have a girlfriend
But I guess she just couldn't compete
With all of these love-starved women
Who keep clamoring at my feet.

Well I'll probably find me another
But I guess they're all in awe of me
Who cares I never get lonesome
Cause I treasure my own company.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror
Cuz I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
O Lord it's hard to be humble
But I'm doing the best that I can.

I guess you can say I'm a loner
A cowboy outlaw tough and proud
Well I could have lots of friends if I wanted
But then I wouldn't stand out from the crowd.

Some folks say that I'm egotistical
Hell, I don't even know what that means
I guess it has something to do with the
Way that I fill out my skin tight blue jeans.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror
Cuz I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
O Lord it's hard to be humble
We are doing the best that we can.

[Marie]

reminds me of the song "Its Hard to be Humble" by Mac Davis

Good one, MisterA!

I am also reminded of Ambrose Bierce's definition of an EGOTIST:

"An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me."

[Sved]

Good one, MisterA!

I am also reminded of Ambrose Bierce's definition of an EGOTIST:

"An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me."

I will paraphrase and honestly state that I'm a modest person with a lot of things to be modest about.

That said I would rather be rich and healthy then poor and sick

[paul_au]

james1 Look man, you are to intense, back off a little, start playing hard to get. When your out with a woman, don't let them think your desperate, don't call them back the next day after a 1st date, wait a month or two before making the next call, and they will be surprised you made the call, they will then stop playing games on the second date, because they will be worried you will not call them for a third. Make shore you go on about ten first dates at around the same period and lead them on, make them think you want them but don't call back, dangle the hook in the water, but don't pull the line in untill there fighting for you. When you have made the woman desperate enough, they will be chaising you, not the other way around, then when you got a choice of woman, start giving them the flick, and chose only the best. From the exspert.