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Marriage Joke
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Thread: Marriage Joke

  1. #1
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    Marriage Joke

    Its been awhile since I post my last joke, hope this will brighten your day today

    The 10 Commandments of Marriage Jokes

    Commandment 1.
    Marriages are made in heaven. But then again,
    so is thunder and lightning.

    Commandment 2.
    If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention
    to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

    Commandment 3.
    Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

    Commandment 4.
    Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of
    marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
    In the second year, the woman speaks and the man
    listens. In the third year, they both speak and the
    neighbors listen.

    Commandment 5.
    When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
    you can be sure of one thing:
    Either the car is new or the wife is.

    Commandment 6.
    Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
    The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

    Commandment 7.
    Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking
    about something you say.
    After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

    Commandment 8.
    Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding,
    economical, and a good cook.
    But the law allows only one wife.

    Commandment 9.
    Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry.
    That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

    Commandment 10.
    A man is incomplete until he is married.
    After that, he is finished.

    Bonus Commandment Story.
    A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
    The wife leaned over,made a wish and threw in a penny.
    The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned
    over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
    The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled,
    'It really works!

  2. #2
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    Re: Marriage Joke

    Once upon a time, there are Chinese and English men who do not
    understand each of their language very well, they agree to go to the
    restaurant and order some foods.



    Everytime the Chinese man
    lift up his glass, he starts to tell to the English man
    Gan Bei (Cheers).
    The English man confuse what is that for, but he
    continues his eating. That
    thing happens few times, everytime the Chinese man want
    to drink he always
    says Gan Bei The
    English man only nods and silent then drink and eating
    again. Not so
    long the Chinese man
    says it again, Gan Bei while he is lifting
    up his glass. This time the
    English man put his cutleries and angry to the Chinese
    man and says Its
    all right if u CANT PAY! I will pay !, so
    shut up.

  3. #3
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    Re: Marriage Joke

    Haha the 5th commandment is so true!

  4. #4
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    Re: Marriage Joke

    I can vouch for most of those commandments.

  5. #5
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    Re: Marriage Joke

    Glad that you guys like it

  6. #6
    Deknoi Guest

    Re: Marriage Joke

    Those aren't commandments though...

  7. #7
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    Re: Marriage Joke

    555555555555 Thanks for sharing.

  8. #8
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    Re: Marriage Joke

    Glad that you enjoy it too, suzie

  9. #9
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    Re: Marriage Joke

    When I asked my grandfather how long he has been married he replied 40 years!
    Then he mumbled, "you don't even get that long for murder..."

  10. #10
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    Re: Marriage Joke

    i love number 4 and 5...5555++

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