Need opinion

[Marie]

So, are you choosing your religion over your love for this girl??

isn't it obvious? THAT's the problem, not her.

To me it's not obvious. In the first place, I am not sure if he meant to say faith or fate in the post below.

yesterday we managed to have breakfast together ..frankly said both of us feel quite afraid of what going to happen ahead of us...we just planning it..but the faith will decide..

[Samyang]

isn't it obvious? THAT's the problem, not her.

What is obvious? I understand the problem. I dont understand what he is going to do.

So you are saying he already has choosen the religion?

[misterA]

its ok nevermind asking me..
yes only after she had converted...but at the moment we didnt discuss about the religion matter too deep..because as i said i am not going to push her neither do her...but she always ask about my religions do's and dont's...for me i dont want her to make decision because of me as the reason...

What will you do if she doesn't agree to convert - follow your heart or your religious beliefs? In other words - would you be willing to convert?

[Betti]

come on, don't be so hard on him. Islam is very strict about these things. a Muslim man is not allowed to marry a Buddhist girl, full stop. and yes, there are still many people out there who put God before everything else, including love, and I think we should respect that as long as he is asking respectfully. and he did.

my advice is that Zali you really need to make it clear for her that if she does not convert to Islam then you cannot be together. (if this is what your final decision is.) be clear about the expectations, what that would mean for her and her family. you said you don't want to push her, and I agree that is a good idea, but does she know at least about these things? you don't push her and don't really discuss this so maybe she thinks it is not so important after all, that it is no problem, everything can continue as it is now.

I wish you all the best.

[zali5363]

thanks guys for all the opinion..sorry my english is not that good maybe some spelling mistakes...for the time being we carry on as it is and this coming friday she again going back to his home and i have made decision to go there in the next two weeks...my purpose is want to meet her parent and will be going there as a good friend...maybe going to stay in chiangmai for two nights and i hope i can use that limited time at least to know better of her family...we both thinks its still too early to make any drastic decision so maybe when she come back here we will meet my parents as well...
for me at the moment i dont want to think too deep about the religious matter ...thanks betti for understanding my situation...after what have both of us going thru its make me and her can think more maturely and we dont mind of what people going to say about us because for us as long as we know that what are we doing now is right and not giving any threat to our relationship its ok...all we want is to have a happy time together...

[fish]

You say you dont want to think too deep about the religious matter at the moment, i think this has to be sorted out before you take this relationship any further, as it seems this is the major hurdle, unless there is something else that has not been discussed here. How strict do you both follow your respective religions? Betti says a muslim man is not allowed to marry a buddhist full stop. is it ok to give up your faith, or would she have to give up hers? this is what you must decide as far as i can see, sooner rather than later, all the best............fish

[Mouserkm]

Zali;

I have pondered this thread.. I have worked in the Middle Eastern world for many years. I believe I understand the Muslim faith. Depending on how strict your faith and family - gives you the ability to be with your BUDDHIST woman.

First, I know and have seen honor killings.. if your family is that strict.. and you do not want to give her the right to practice her faith, and be together, then you need to leave. I have seen what happens to non-Muslim people - married to Muslims. Protect yourself, and if you love her, then protect her also from the damage that could be done.

If you love her to the point that Religion does not matter, then you might have to move away from your village/city and learn to dwell in peace together. I understand that you would be very hard pressed to leave your beleif and faith.

If she loves you enough to convert to Islam, then this is again a good thing for you two. Her family may object, and that would be your hurdle to deal with. Gaining acceptance from her family. That might not be that hard, if you are a good man and treat her well.

The point being, you two need to decide. You need to weigh in your heart, what you are going to do. She needs to weigh in her heart what she wants to do. Together - you both then need to make a decision about your future.

I know my wife and I - have agreed that religion - though VERY important to both of us, was not the deciding factor for us. What was the deciding factors - our love for one another, the ability to be companions, the partnership that had formed, the romance we had, and more importantly.... our ability to communicate.

Just my 2 cents worth....

Mouserkm

[paul_au]

To me he sounds radical, expecting others to be flexible and change a life time of beliefs, while he selfishly will not change his own religion or at least be excepting of her keeping her's. I personally think he should change and become an atheist or a buddhist, that way there would be no more wars in the world. Buddhist actually practice peace, not just preach it and atheists don't allow religious superstition to rule logic. Maybe it's about time you find another woman that has not got there own mind and thinks exactly the way you do, instead of obligating, forcing or brain washing some one to think like you.

[mat]

To me he sounds radical, expecting others to be flexible and change a life time of beliefs, while he selfishly will not change his own religion or at least be excepting of her keeping her's. I personally think he should change and become an atheist or a buddhist, that way there would be no more wars in the world. Buddhist actually practice peace, not just preach it and atheists don't allow religious superstition to rule logic. Maybe it's about time you find another woman that has not got there own mind and thinks exactly the way you do, instead of obligating, forcing or brain washing some one to think like you.

I agree. However I think someone should inform Paul that another person has logged in using his username and posted something sensible.

[Marie]

.sorry my english is not that good maybe some spelling mistakes....

Just a clarification: Zali, sorry, but I did not intend to take a jab at your spelling mistake, especially knowing you're not a native speaker of English. I was genuinely not sure if it was a homonymic error (two words sounding almost the same, but with different meanings) which I am also guilty of, especially when I am in a rush. In your post (as shown below), if you really meant to state "faith will decide", that's like saying "religion will rule" and therefore you're giving up the relationship. But if you meant to declare "fate will decide", that's like wanting to go through the relationship and leaving up the outcome to destiny. That's why I was not sure where you're heading to--and still am not! But I understand if you're still in a crossroads. This is not an easy issue to settle.

I am acquainted with some Muslim Malaysians (and Indonesians) who had faced the same dilemma when they had gone on scholarships abroad and had fallen in love with foreigner non-Muslims. I saw how agonizing for them to go through the decision-making process. But it was an inevitable stage, as religion is a serious matter to most Moslems.

Many members here have given excellent advice. The decision is in your hands. Good luck!

(I will just give the exact quotes below for your easy reference.)

y.but the faith will decide..

To me it's not obvious. In the first place, I am not sure if he meant to say faith or fate in the post