Had enough!!!

[Lime]

May I use a space on this forum to get something out of my chest? Hope you don't mind this --- every time I contact my family back in Thailand, a few days later they either ask me for money or other stuff. I truly had enough!!!!

Is it the culture or is it just my family? It makes me want to isolate myself from them.

Lime:

[BUCKY]

May I use a space on this forum to get something out of my chest? Hope you don't mind this --- every time I contact my family back in Thailand, a few days later they either ask me for money or other stuff. I truly had enough!!!!

Is it the culture or is it just my family? It makes me want to isolate myself from them.

Lime:

Welcome to the legion of farang! LOL

[Betti]

sorry I had to laugh too...... :-D

[Khun Don]

To answer your question-it is the culture-but some families practice the culture a lot more fully than others!

[Lime]

It's okay, Betty, you can laugh - I don't mind.....

Some may think that I'm stupid posting and revealing my root on here like this but as I said, ' I had enough!!! ' gggrrrrrhhh

[Lime]

To answer your question-it is the culture-but some families practice the culture a lot more fully than others!

Thanks, Khun Don.

[Betti]

sorry - I didn't think you are stupid - actually I feel sorry for you - it is just funny in a weird, sour sort of way that now it is a Thai saying and feeling something I often hear from farangs.... and in a funny way it is good to know that not all Thais are happy about this Thai "norm" (?), sharing financial resources in a much wider family circle than farangs do.
has your family always been like this? or did this come as a complete surprise? are they having serious difficulties or are they just feeling they got the hen that lays golden eggs?
sorry, don't mean to pry. but we can listen if you feel like talking. if you just want to vent, that's ok too of course.
hope you can sort it out or at least make it better.

[fileeep]

Hi Lime.

Same as Betti, I don’t wish to pry into your family...... but this is a very interesting subject that has really only been look at through the eyes of a Farang.

Sooooo how did you handle this?
Will you send the money…..or send nothing, all of it or only part of the amount requested?

And how will your family handle this?

Will they treat you any different if their wishes aren’t met?

Thank you for being very honest.....

[Surawut]

Lime, In my opinion it is your family, nothing to do with culture. You live in the Western world so in many Thai people's eyes you must be rolling in money. If you don't send money you may come under emotional blackmail from members of your family. The problem is the more you send, the greater will become the demands!!

[Lime]

sorry - I didn't think you are stupid - actually I feel sorry for you - it is just funny in a weird, sour sort of way that now it is a Thai saying and feeling something I often hear from farangs.... and in a funny way it is good to know that not all Thais are happy about this Thai "norm" (?), sharing financial resources in a much wider family circle than farangs do.
has your family always been like this? or did this come as a complete surprise? are they having serious difficulties or are they just feeling they got the hen that lays golden eggs?
sorry, don't mean to pry. but we can listen if you feel like talking. if you just want to vent, that's ok too of course.
hope you can sort it out or at least make it better.

Hi Betti,

It's cool, I didn't get upset with you
Well, in the past they didn't ask much from me as we all earned pretty much the same wages (through out my school years) Then they seemed to stop working and became lazy bums after I got married to my farang husband. I used to support the family while my mum was still alive and they all sucked the money from my mum. Then after mum's death, I seldom helped them because they never saved - all was spent on lottery and silly things but never wanted to work. So, I completely stopped supporting them 'cos they never learned and never wanted to help me to help themselves. However, I still keep my eye on them (see if they need any help and I would assist them as usual) But this time I kinda had enough!!! - sigh!

One time I gave 1,000 baht each (I have a big family), one particular sister asked me ' Is that all you gave to me? ' You know what, Betti? I was speechless and left the note there. She didn't speak to me for weeks - lol.

I hope they listened and learned from what I said to them but they didn't seem to absorb anything because I still receive $$ request messages from facebook from time to time.

A few days ago I got a message asking if I could send some money home so they can celebrate New Year. Today I received another message from my nephew asking if I could sponsor his soccer team LOL (I'm laughing with disbelief!!!)

I may sound mean towards them but I think it's too much for me to handle now as I need to look after my future, too. But what really upset me is that they never saved, doesn't matter how much I gave them they would turn that amount to zero baht. In contrast, I gave my sister's ex 1,500 baht to go to work outside BKK and he turned that money to at least 10,000 baht and I am so proud of him but my family ?!!?~ sigh !~

Thank you for your inputs, guys I feel a bit better...
Cheers,
Lime