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  1. #21
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    Re: How do you know if money will be a problem in a marriage?

    Quote Originally Posted by mikeheart View Post
    P aul you are as always trying to make out that all women are the same. There are exceptions to evey rule but the vast majority of people, men and women are not money grabbing. The song is true " you can't buy love" I pity you in your bitter and twisted thinking about women. There are good and bad in both sexes. After 61 years I can honestly say that there are few people that are actively trying to take.I think you need to look at yourself before judging all ladies.
    Pauls comments are an indictment to his lifestyle and selfish nature. He is not able to form caring relationships - maybe he got hurt to many times, and instead of looking at himself.. he blamed others.. The only thing we have control of is our attitude.

    Kirk
    Last edited by Mouserkm; 20-01-11 at 11:50 AM.

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  3. #22
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    Re: How do you know if money will be a problem in a marriage?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mouserkm View Post
    Pauls comments are an indictment to his lifestyle and selfish nature. He is not able to form caring relationships - maybe he got hurt to many times, and instead of looking at himself.. he blamed others.. The only thing we have control of is our attitude.

    Kirk
    human with 'weakness' will always point the blame on others.

  4. #23
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    Re: How do you know if money will be a problem in a marriage?

    Oh Stupendous, this is an EXCELLENT question! I have been married to a Thai women for three years now and the issue of money is probably the most important one to a Thai woman. At least that has been my experience. I guess in one way I can consider myself lucky because my wife is someone independent much more so than other Thai women apparently, according to her. She has been so far willing to help me with my debt a little and send her own money home. In return I have helped her get through school with use of our family vehicle and I pay all living expenses out of my own pocket and she only contributes when she needs to. She paid for her own school.

    I have an unusual circumstance I suppose, this is my 2nd marriage and Im over 40yrs old now and the debt is large from the divorce , job loss and some bad choices. I have worked hard to remedy this situation and things are starting to get on track, but its been tough on both of us.

    I will tell you that use EXTREME caution as you proceed forward. If you make a lot of money and you love this girl enough, it would be best if you curtail your spending habits, learn to live on what you have and then allow her to send some of this money home. It is deeply ingrained in Thai Culture that the children must do something to take care of the parents as they age. There is no social security net in Thailand and her father is VERY lucky he has a pension.

    Money is the #1 source of fights between me and my wife. It is a constant stress for us, until I get out of debt I don't see any end to it. I wish you luck should you decide to continue the relationship.

  5. #24
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    Re: How do you know if money will be a problem in a marriage?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stupendous View Post
    My 21 year old gf was in the US for a few years on a student visa but had to return early (sponsor issue). That brought up the question about what to do with our relationship. End it or get married. We've known each other a year.

    .... and expensive offroad hobbies that aren't going away for any girl (I've spent ~$100K on a dirt bike, quad, dually, and toy hauler and owe nothing to give you an idea about me).

    Her family. Dad is in the military. Mom has a small shop selling stuff. Has 1 younger sibling who doesn't take school seriously and they are considering the military for him (so putting him through school in US sounds unlikely as it's financially unwise). They have a little land and a few houses.
    I didn't have to read anymore.

    Clearly: You are not ready to get married to a Thai Woman or any woman. Break the relationship and go play on your toys. Marriage is a selfless act and not a selfish act.

    Her Dad being in the Military is a red flag? Do more studying about Thailand and it Military to get a grip on this one.
    A few houses can include shacks in the upcountry somewhere. Thai are terrible about over-presenting their wealth. The only marriage for money would be for your money....which you have already spent or have earmarked.

    Twenty-nine years old means it is about time to grow up young man. Being a husband and a father come first and toys come fifteenth.
    The Heart determines what is Possible by the Mind

  6. #25
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    Re: How do you know if money will be a problem in a marriage?

    Quote Originally Posted by pclev View Post
    I didn't have to read anymore.

    Clearly: You are not ready to get married to a Thai Woman or any woman. Break the relationship and go play on your toys. Marriage is a selfless act and not a selfish act.

    Her Dad being in the Military is a red flag? Do more studying about Thailand and it Military to get a grip on this one.
    A few houses can include shacks in the upcountry somewhere. Thai are terrible about over-presenting their wealth. The only marriage for money would be for your money....which you have already spent or have earmarked.

    Twenty-nine years old means it is about time to grow up young man. Being a husband and a father come first and toys come fifteenth.
    I agree. I think threadstarter has his own answer already judging from what he posted. I dont believe a guy who is truly in love would be capable of posting such stuff in the first place.

  7. #26
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    Re: How do you know if money will be a problem in a marriage?

    I agree it would seem that the whole thing is based on money.

    Taking care of your parents in there declining years is a part of the Thai culture and it would seem to me that when considering a serious relationship with a Thai one would have to look into the culture and how much are you willing to accept of it. Also how much of your culture your partner willing to accept. If you can agree on this you are then prepared to talk about money. If you can not come to a point of agreement on it you are just filling in time with no future.

  8. #27
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    Re: How do you know if money will be a problem in a marriage?

    If you don't know what sinsod is, you really need to look it up ASAP. Thai women in general are very traditional. They want to feel secure and taken care of. They also don't want to feel dependent on you so it's a delicate dance you have to perform. You can't ask her how much money to send to her parents, or how much sinsod will be. I made that mistake and the conversation left me feeling like absolute crap. If you're the provider, then own that responsibility. Take charge and provide. If you really want her to feel secure and you trust her math skills, put money into a bank account and have her manage your finances. She'lol be able to see the account grow and always be confident that she and her family will be taken care of. Otherwise, you're not ready to marry this girl.

  9. #28
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    Re: How do you know if money will be a problem in a marriage?

    Hi

    Ecohaid this post is 6 years old most of the people who posted originally are gone.

    The original poster only posted 3 times. The idea of sinsod is old fashion. Very few use or want it mostly the parents or family of poor women from issan demand it from older farangs who don't know any better.

    Though some Hi-So still do it but to show wealth. They give parents large amount to show off, then parents give back, or give to married couple

  10. #29
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    Re: How do you know if money will be a problem in a marriage?

    Good pickup kohnrai. Money will always be a problem with a western thai marriage. The difference is too great. The one with the finance needs to be strong. The isaan people may not see the need forr record keeping. They just want to have some business. You cannot get involved with something like that. I know this post is old, but relevant to others.
    If it's not true, don't say it. If it's not yours, don't take it. If it's not right, don't do it.

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  12. #30
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    Re: How do you know if money will be a problem in a marriage?

    If you marry then why should money be a problem. You love each other and then you have to help each other. If you have enough money you should also help your partner''s parents, brothers and sisters too. Of course you will demand it is not squandered away but invested well and if you know better advise them. If not, you will be upset with them if they spend it wrongly and say you cannot give money until they show that they mean business. And if they convince you you will give money again. And if not, you will remain upset and refuse to give money. But they still are the family you chose. And in case you find that they do not give a damn about you, but only your money, you will say goodbye. And of course when the income gap is big, its natural for people to expect your help if they are on the other extreme.
    Never hit someone below the belt; for you are not the creator.

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