On finding fulfillment

[Marie]

I was deleting stuff from my files when I came across this article I clipped last year. There are gems in it and I thought it’s worth sharing it with you. This is a story of a father, who, after being diagnosed of terminal cancer, became absolutely focused on doing whatever he could to continue being a good dad to his young children throughout the years, even though he wouldn’t be there in person.

Amongst his preparations included a message addressed to his kids found in his laptop after his death. It says: “I’ve been thinking about the matters in life that are important, and the values and aspirations that make people happy and successful. In my view, and you may well have your own ideas by now, the formula is pretty simple."

He listed the following instructions on how to live a good and happy life:

ON FINDING FULFILLMENT

1) The three most important virtues are: Loyalty, integrity and moral courage.

2) Be courteous, be punctual, always say please and thank you, and be sure to hold your knife and fork properly. Others take their cue on how to treat you from your manners.

3) Be kind, considerate and compassionate when others are in trouble, even if you have problems of your own. Others will admire your selflessness and will help you in due course.

4) Show moral courage. Do what is right, even if that makes you unpopular.
I always thought it important to be able to look at myself in the shaving mirror every morning and not feel guilt or remorse. I depart this world with a pretty clear conscience.

5) Show humility. Stand your ground but pause to reflect on what the other side are saying, and back off when you know you are wrong. Never worry about losing face. That only happens when you are pig-headed.

6) Learn from your mistakes. You will make plenty so use them as a learning tool. If you keep making the same mistake or run into a problem, you’re doing something wrong.

7) Avoid disparaging someone to a third party; it is only you who will look bad. If you have a problem with someone, tell them face to face.

8) Hold fire! If someone crosses you, don’t react immediately. Once you say something it can never be taken back, and most people deserve a second chance.

9) Have fun. If this involves taking risks, so be it. If you get caught, hold your hands up.

10) Give to charity and help those who are less fortunate than yourselves: it’s easy and so rewarding.

11) Always look on the upside! The glass is half full, never half empty. Every adversity has a silver lining if you seek it out.

12) Make it your instinct always to say ‘yes’. Look for reasons to do something, not reasons to say no. Your friends will cherish you for that.

13) Be canny: you will get more of what you want if you can give someone more of what they desire. Compromise can be king.

14) Always accept a party invitation. You may not want to go, but they want you there. Show them courtesy and respect.

15) Never ever let a friend down. I would bury bodies for my friends, if they asked me to, .. which is why I have chosen them carefully.

16) Always tip for good service. It shows respect. But never reward poor service. Poor service is insulting.

17) Always treat those you meet as your social equal, whether they are above or below your station in life. For those above you, show due deference, but don’t be a sycophant.

18) Always respect age, as age equals wisdom.

19) Be prepared to put the interests of your sibling first.

20) Be proud of who you are and where you come from, but open your mind to other cultures and languages. When you begin to travel (as I hope you will), you’ll learn that your place in the world is both vital and insignificant. Don’t get too big for your breeches.

21) Be ambitious, but not nakedly so. Be prepared to back your assertions with craftsmanship and hard work.

22) Live every day to its full: do something that makes you smile or laugh, and avoid procrastination.

23) Give of your best at school. Some teachers forget that pupils need incentives. So if your teacher doesn’t give you one, devise your own.

24) Always pay the most you can afford. Never skimp on hotels, clothing, shoes, make-up or jewellery. But always look for a deal. You get what you pay for.

25) Never give up! My two little soldiers have no dad, but you are brave, big-hearted, fit and strong. You are also loved by an immensely kind and supportive team of family and friends. You make your own good fortune, my children, so battle on.

26) Never feel sorry for yourself, or at least don’t do it for long. Crying doesn’t make things better.

27) Look after your body and it will look after you.

28) Learn a language, or at least try. Never engage a person abroad in conversation without first greeting them in their own language; by all means ask if they speak English!

(Source: Yahoo article )

[Jerome]

How about this one?

Don't expect much from people and you won't be disappointed much, but pleasantly surprised sometimes

[bassai]

Unfortunately, we seem to only come to this realization when confronted with our mortality,

[Betti]

Bassai! great to see you.
I love your signature.

[Marie]

WHICH ONES MAKE MOST SENSE TO ME:

1) The three most important virtues are: Loyalty, integrity and moral courage.

Reflects my personal motto as written in my profile, to wit: ( ...a life of integrity is the most fundamental source of personal worth...)

2) Be courteous, be punctual, always say please and thank you, and be sure to hold your knife and fork properly. Others take their cue on how to treat you from your manners.

How true!

5) Stand your ground but pause to reflect on what the other side are saying, and back off when you know you are wrong. Never worry about losing face. That only happens when you are pig-headed.

I have realized that others will respect you more when you admit that you're wrong. Admitting your weakness is actually a sign of strength.

6) Learn from your mistakes. You will make plenty so use them as a learning tool. If you keep making the same mistake or run into a problem, you're doing something wrong.

This may mean we did not process thoroughly the mistake or we are not fully committed to correct it. Perhaps because it will mean transcending our physical and psychological comfort zone?

8) Hold fire! If someone crosses you, don't react immediately.

Very, very hard to implement! Takes a lot of self-discipline.

9) Have fun. If this involves taking risks, so be it. If you get caught, hold your hands up.

Hmm, I guess this should go hand -in-hand with the principle that everything has a price. And just be prepared to pay the price.

16) Always tip for good service. It shows respect. But never reward poor service. Poor service is insulting.

Just reminds me of a long-running debate on the same topic in this forum.

23) Give of your best at school. Some teachers forget that pupils need incentives. So if your teacher doesn't give you one, devise your own.

I have been trained in this--especially at work where I am used to being on "pilot mode". And I enjoy it! :-) My sister, who is a very self-propelling person, likes to say " Create your own motivation, that way you don't depend on somebody else to give it to you."

24) Always pay the most you can afford. Never skimp on hotels, clothing, shoes, make-up or jewellery. But always look for a deal. You get what you pay for.

Justifies my predilection for "windowshopping first" before making an important purchase.

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What about you, which ones are the most meaningful to you?

[TheSurgeon]

I always say be kind and respectful to each other. Fulfillment to me is being able to share my experiences and memories with all those around me. Always be a good listener and answer questions and show you care.

Just the other day while making a routine delivery of 8500 gallons of gasoline to one of my employers convenience stores directly across the street from a local high school while hooking up my product hoses and accessing underground tanks four young boys of Jewish culture watching and curious about what I was doing walked over and introduced themselves. Then started asking me questions about the vehicle and how many gallons it can hold and how long it takes to unload and how many years have I been doing this. I was very happy to explain to them and answer the questions they asked. Then they asked me about my family and background and how long have I lived here. As they told me about themselves they were surprised how familiar I was with their culture. Then they had to return to school.

So we all returned to our responsibilities with a great sense of FULFILLMENT and joy learning from each other and sharing our thoughts.

Multiple this moment over and over again and you have a world at peace.