Dating Thai Girl in UK - Relationship vs Family

[Tod-Daniels]

As I said, this is a Thai of at least some means family wise and not your typical poor, 6th grade drop out, rice farmer's daughter from Nakhon Nowhere; who hooks up with a foreigner in hopes of bettering herself and her family's socioeconomic condition. The two people in question are also VERY close in age (versus the previous demographic I outlined where there is usually a large disparity in age between the couple). Throw any of the "bar-stool expert" recommendations out the window on this situation. My own observations tend to show that it's highly unlikely that demographic of foreigner EVER have anything more than superficial encounters at best with the type of Thai girl the O/P is pursuing.

That a Thai gurl doesn't wanna move the relationship along on a physical level doesn't necessarily mean ANYTHING, other than at this point she doesn't want the relationship to be physical. I wouldn't read too much into this, no matter what the "experts" say. I honestly doubt she's waiting for mister right, while dallying around with "mister right now". Thai families (especially ones who educate their kids abroad) have a much dimmer view of foreigners "in the mix" than do poor Thai families who see a foreigner more as a viable means to an end.

In the girl's defense she's playing a balancing act both with her "real Thai family" here in Thailand and the "host family" there. It's gotta weigh heavily on her as far as what is and what is not going to be "culturally" acceptable to both sets of people. No one really knows just how "planned out" her life is once she returns to Thailand. Some Thai families are expert "life planners" and their kids come back to pre-destined roles in either the family business or some other endeavor the family is involved with here. So again, it's up in the air as far as how many decisions are really hers to make.

It would seem the O/P is gauging the worth (or lack thereof) of the time he's invested into the relationship on the sole criteria of it turning physical in the very near future. If I was a betting man, (which I am not), I'd say it ain't gonna magically turn into the relationship he's after in the very near future. Now stranger things have happened, but it will happen in her timeframe, when she's completely ready for it to progress to that level and all the pressuring from the O/P ain't gonna move it a step closer even one second faster.

If the O/P were my son (which he ain't), I'd tell him; if he wasn't "in it for the long haul" to cut his losses now and just remain good friends. I'd also tell him to learn to speak Thai (although that's another topic entirely).

As far as "the girl is young and possibly doesn't have that much experience"; I'd throw that ‘not-so-astute’ observation out the window too. Most Thai girls today in Uni have more than enough "experience" in that area to make educated decisions about how far they are willing to have a relationship progress and in what time frame.

I wish the O/P good luck, and still suggest he learn Thai (especially if he has a penchant for Thai women).

Even though I don't have a penchant for Thai women (or men either) I learned to speak, understand, read and write Thai. Then again I live here surrounded by close to 65 million Thais, so it was worth the investment for me.

[JamieJ]

Just to follow up on this. The problem wasn't lack of sex, we were having that already, and she had plenty of experience before me in that regard.

Unfortunately despite all my best efforts, and chasing her for 2 months, I couldn't save the relationship after this fight. It went from 'you weren't happy with me' to 'i don't love you any more' and now we're not speaking at all.

Difficult situation and I tried everything to fix it, offered to work with the family and go at her pace as many in this thread suggested, but unfortunately it seemed too late for her :(

[djaidee]

Sorry to hear that, still Good Luck to you.