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Dilemma
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  1. #1
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    Dear Thai people,

    I am an asian girl myself, and would like to understand how to cope with a situation related to Thailand - better to hear from the thai people themselves.
    I love thailand, I've made some great conversations with thai girls I've met in phuket and the islands, they are so friendly and simple. However, in my life, I have once been dumped by my white boyfriend after he relocated and lived in thailand. Now my current boyfriend is going to stay in Bangkok for a month without me. What a coincidence again!

    I would like to hear more about white men in Bangkok. The attention they get from thai girls especially. The ego boost, is it so big change for them to change their heart and life so much?? I do not understand, I could trust my boyfriend, but I need to understand the actual situation, cause temptations are such a challenge in life, isn't it?

    thanks a many for any comments!

  2. #2
    delawang Guest
    You deserve an answer, but this may stir up some controversy. We had discussed this subject from different points of view on this board and it usually ends in a fistfight.

    I am a western man and I was happily dating a few women in America when I met my wife in Thailand. For me, it was not about ego or her paying more attention to me. In fact, I think she pays less attention to me that most of the western women I have been involved with. That is one of the things that fascinated me about her; she requires no attention from men to be happy. That is typical of Thai women. They generally do not have the same kind of ego problems I find so common in the westerners (both men and women.) Thai women donít really care what men think about them.

    That is one situation in which western men are attracted to Thai women. I just was in Bangkok a couple of weeks ago and I have to admit there are also westerner men who have no interest in a relationship and are here for commercial sex only. They just want to party and have fun with lots of different women and the local culture accommodates them. To understand this, I think we have to realize some things about human male sexuality. I also think a bulletin board maintained by an elementary school may not be the best place to carry this discussion further, so I will stop here.

    Your question was a good one and you deserved an answer. I hope I did not offend anyone

  3. #3
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    you only speak the truth delawang...

  4. #4
    delawang Guest
    thank you

    I think some men should not be in relationships, and unfortunatly many women get involved with these men. I hope things work out for missNikki, she is couragous to post.

  5. #5
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    Thank you all for the replies!
    Even though I must admit, I have an expectation when I post this question, I was hoping... that someone could show me some insights that men don't fall into this category as delawang suggested - all those sex-pursuits of men in Bangkok.
    Could there be a chance, that like my boyfriend told me, he is there for the culture, that he will not succumb to temptations, that ....
    I am sad, that at an early age, young people already have such perception that Bangkok is where men can't resist the sex temptations, in my life experience I grew to think Bangkok was such, and now, trying to find a way out to think that it is not such a place...

  6. #6
    delawang Guest
    In Hong Kong you hear the same stuff about Mainland China. Its all about money, and what happens when some people are very rich and other people are not. None of this, of course, has to make you end your relationship. If he is a good man, he will play around for a few days, realize that there is a difference between being with someone who loves you and being with someone who loves your money, and he will come back. If you lose him, well, it is really his loss. You deserve a better man. There are plenty of men out there who know the difference between the real thing and the not real thing.

  7. #7
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    Having had a Thai girl friend, I'm not exactly impressed by them, as I discovered there primary motive to obtain a western man is money. I also think the majority of men do not go to Thailand for sex, but that still a fare percentage do. I think the problem here is Jealousy and trust. I see many girls who have gone out with a cheater, go out with another cheater and then another. The problem here is you are attracted to the guy who cheats, that means you are attraction is shallow, you are impressed by men who pay for you on a first date but will ignore a guy who will not pay for a woman on a first date due to principal. Another words you will not make the effort to ask a man out and get the correct man in your life. Another words you deserve what you get in life, don't expect things to come to you that you want with out making am effort to get the best. If you expect a good man in your life you need to work hard to get them, if you want a cheater keep waiting around for the man to make the first move, that's the easiest way to find a cheater. There is a lot of competition for good men and they are unlikely to ask a woman out that does not make an effort to show them, there worth asking out. A good man is not just attracted to a good body, they want more.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (paul_au @ Aug. 24 2004,19:29)]Having had a Thai girl friend, I'm not exactly impressed by them, as I discovered there primary motive to obtain a western man is money. A good man is not just attracted to a good body, they want more.
    HA!!!!
    Paul is dating the hookers!!! LOL

    I knew that had to be him, the 32 year old bald guy trying to get the bargirls to go home with him!~!

    jk Paul
    Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak....and in every forum you will find at least one.

    When you critisize someone, walk a mile in his shoes first; then, if he gets mad, he'll be a mile away and barefoot.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] ]I would like to hear more about white men in Bangkok. The attention they get from thai girls especially. The ego boost, is it so big change for them to change their heart and life so much??
    Thailand has a unique effect on its visitors. I don't think anyone who visited this country ever left unchanged. However, I also think that Thailand doesn't have any negative effects of her own. When a person is changed for the worse (like your previous bf.) what actually happens is that suppressed, previously hidden character flaws get magnified. In other words, Thailand does not possess any bad influence. The only bad influence to be found there is brought in by the visitors themselves.

    The wonderful thing about Thailand is that she is like fertile soil that gives life and nurtures all kinds of seeds; both flowers and weeds are thriving in such an environment. Similarly, both good and bad people will find their wishes coming true in the Land of Smiles. But one thing Thailand cannot do (at least in my opinion) is changing a person's character. Only magnifies what's there already.

    With that said, if your current boyfriend is a man of strong moral character, you have nothing to fear. On the contrary! Thailand's "magnifying effect" works on these people too - but the opposite way. I really hope that your current boyfriend is this type.

    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] ]Could there be a chance, that like my boyfriend told me, he is there for the culture, that he will not succumb to temptations
    Yes, it is quite possible. I know a few white men who came here specifically to learn about Thailand's amazing culture, customs and the life of the locals. As time passed, they still remained true to the original purpose of their visit. So, please have faith na khrab. It may very well be that your boyfriend is such a person as well.

    Good luck missnikki, and please let us know how he turned out to be.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (missnikki @ Aug. 16 2004,01:42)]I am sad, that at an early age, young people already have such perception that Bangkok is where men can't resist the sex temptations, in my life experience I grew to think Bangkok was such, and now, trying to find a way out to think that it is not such a place...
    It is indeed sad that some people percieve Thailand as a big sexual playground.
    The kingdom has so much more to offer in the way of it's cultural attractions, festivals,food,etc.
    Have you done anything to change your perceptions of Thailand ?
    Perhaps if you did some research on Thailand yourself it would ease your fears of b/f straying.
    " The present is an outcome of the past which will have bearings on the future."
    Bhuddhadasa Bhikku 1906-1993

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