Beware the thai romeo

[Sawatdee]

Beware the Thai Romeo

Dogs may be men’s best friends, but the canines behave better than their male owners, a Thai writer tells FOO YEE PING.

The Malaysia Star, 29th August 2004

MEN, according to Patcharasri Benjamas, are worse than dogs. She has even written a book to prove her point. Poo Chai Leaw Gwa Ma Lare Mai Dai Ma Jark Dao Aug Carn (Men are Worse than Dogs; They are not From Mars) has been a barking success in Thailand since it was published in August 2002. It has sold 81,000 copies and is into its 27th print.

The book is being adapted into a movie and Patcharasri (pic) is giving input to the script. The title is, of course, a spin-off from John Gray’s Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, which she enjoyed reading.

Patcharasri devotes one chapter to the jaochoo (playboy). She also touches on how some men date two women at the same time. Her 140-page paperback is full of caricatures, one of which depicts a man with a long nose, ala Pinocchio.

“And Thai men like drinking so much that they do it not only during the New Year, Songkran and Christmas, but practically every evening,” the author says. Incidentally, Thais are the fifth biggest boozers in the world, after those from South Korea, the Bahamas, Taiwan and Bermuda.

So, is she a cranky spinster who is spearheading a hate movement against men?

Perish the thought. Talk show host Patcharasri, 27, is one of the most recognised faces in Thailand. It is not unusual for people to walk up to this glamour gal and ask to be photographed with her.

She had penned Men are Worse than Dogs in good humour. For instance, she writes that men are an integral part of life, “but why is it that women always meet the lousy ones? The answer is because very few of us can strike the lottery.”

Men can be smooth as an eel and hunt like a fox when they want to pursue a woman. Even her boyfriend of six years was not spared as she drew ideas from her own experience, and those of her friends and colleagues. “At first he couldn’t understand why I did it, but eventually, he laughed along,” Patcharasri says.

Still, many people feel the lady has too sharp a tongue. But that has not stopped her.

Patcharasri, a communications graduate from Chulalongkorn University, has written five other books on men and romance. One of them dwells on how a man will go to great lengths to win a girl over. “I want to tell teenage girls that while love is beautiful, they must have a brave heart to weather all storms.”

Her latest effort, a compilation of love letters, was released last April. The next will see print in October. It will feature rebuttals from women about men who complain about their habits of, say, shopping too much or taking too long to dress up.

For two years now, she has had a weekly newspaper column, ala Dear Diary, on matters of the heart and women living in a big city.

This Bangkok native, who has a younger brother, joined Channel 3 as an entertainment news anchor seven years ago. Now, she hosts Pooying Pooying (Woman, Woman), a live talk show that airs five days a week, from 8.50 to 9.20am. She also co-hosts a weekly programme which focuses on the family and relationships, and is often asked to emcee dinner functions and other events.

“I do get tired sometimes, but I am happy with what I am doing,” says Patcharasri, who draws inspiration from the people around her.

“There was this cleaning lady whom I chatted with at a public toilet. She told me she works 10 hours a day, six days a week. Yet, she’s happy with what she’s doing. That taught me about taking pride in my job and loving what I do.”

Is marriage on the mind of this woman who often takes digs at men?

“I want to get married but I don’t want children, at least for now. There are still many things I need to accomplish in life. It is good enough if I have someone by my side to share my feelings with when I am happy or sad.

“Many single Thai women, when they turn 30, ask themselves why they are still unmarried. Not me, though. Age is not important. What I want is a soul mate.

“A Thai husband does have many tricks to make you laugh. He can be so romantic at times, and give you sweet surprises. A Thai man will give you 100% of himself in the beginning, but this will dwindle gradually. On the other hand, a Thai woman gives 0% at first, but this will grow to 100% eventually.

“In our culture, the men are on a higher position and it is acceptable for them to have many wives. But loyalty is high on my list. If my future husband should want to take another wife, I will seek a divorce.”

She describes her 33-year-old boyfriend, who is in advertising, as a man of few words. “I had met many men before I knew him. Most of them were so talkative they bored me to tears. My boyfriend doesn’t say much, which makes me curious about what he is thinking. He is loyal to me and I know he loves me. He is so cool.”

Indeed, Patcharasri has many admirers, due to the nature of her work.

“They send me flowers, chocolates and perfume. Once, a guy sent me a gold chain. I don’t know if it was real gold, but I just returned it,” says this writer whose nickname, Kalamare, refers to a Thai dessert.

Dogs or otherwise, it’s obvious that Thai men are smart enough to spot the lovely and talented Patcharasri from a mile away.

[delawang]

Quote[/b] (sawatdee @ Aug. 29 2004,10:45)]“On the other hand, a Thai woman gives 0% at first, but this will grow to 100% eventually.

I agree with this. As for the rest..well, I agree with most of that too! She is funny, I will have to pick up her book. Do you know if it is available on the web?

[paul_au]

Quote[/b] ]On the other hand, a Thai woman gives 0% at first, but this will grow to 100% eventually.

I disagree about Thai woman giving 0% in the beginning, it is more towards the negative, something like minus 100 %.
Thai woman are so bad at the beginning they don't even offer to pay for half the expenses on the first date and even on consecutive dates. If they rated a 0% they would pay half as the man at least would pay half and make the effort to ask her out in the first place. But Thai woman have a very bad habit of sponging off men on a first date, not even contributing a single Baht towards the date as well as not coming off there pedestal to ask men out in the first place. How do Thai woman expect men to love them if the effort in the fist instance is so negative, so exploitative and they really want a man to actually like them. Do you really think some one is going to love you if you show how much you like them by exploiting them financially on a first date.
Woman in this world get what they pay for. If a Thai woman wants a good man than start opening your mouth and spend your money' ask a man out and make them like you by being generous. If a Thai woman continues to put them selves on a pedestal, and treat men badly, as a free meal ticket, they deserve what they get when the man goes around cheating as there was nothing to love in the first place.

[sing]

Hi Paul, I am sorry you seemed to have bad experiences with Thai women.
BUT I really think that guys should pay on the first date and I am really surprised at what you wrote. I guess you can date only those "modern" or "feminist" kind of women. As a woman, who is working & earning my own money, I can say that many women who are capable of paying for themselves will still prefer guys to pay for first dates. This is not to sponge off the guy but to see if he cares enough to spend a little bit of money on her . It is also not about whether he is rich or not. It's the thought not the money. Really. Cheers!

[khan]

agree...agree. w/ sing.

[globalwoman]

Paul, Paul, our repetitive troll.

You know? If you could say some new interesting things, you would really entertain us.

[paul_au]

Quote[/b] ]As a woman, who is working & earning my own money, I can say that many women who are capable of paying for themselves will still prefer guys to pay for first dates. This is not to sponge off the guy but to see if he cares enough to spend a little bit of money on her .

I have news for you, Most men who pay for a woman on a first date, don't do it because they care about you, they either do it to get in bed with you, or they do it because if they don't they will find them selves alone all there life.
We are now living in the 21st century, the average single woman in her mid 20's have more education than the average man and earns a reasonable living, in the past woman relied on a man's income, times have changed and so should woman treat men fairly. It is not a matter if you prefer to be paid for because your a woman, that is sexist, as men would also prefer to be paid for as well, it is just the principal of fairness, since woman have got there equal rights they now go to work and earn money just like men, you got your rights when you got that,, Woman should also give men the same privileges of equality. It's not about the money with me either, I'm a millionaire and the cost of a date is insignificant, but if I was a poor man going out with a woman who had an income, I would feel it as being terribly unfair. It is the principal that I would like to be taken out by a woman as most men never have the privilege of being taken out, that a member of the opposite sex making them feel good by asking them out and paying for them. When a man has a woman ask him out and pays for him, he really feels privileged and admires the woman and will tell his friends what a great person she is, When a woman gets taken out she takes it for granted as it is expected, she may never want to go out with that man again and the man feels exploited.
If a man and a woman pay for them selves which I prefer and most western woman now prefer, it is an advantage for a woman as well, she does not feel obligated to perform in bed to the man, as some men get very angry when paying for a woman and getting nothing in return. The advantage for the man is he never feels exploited and does not care weather or not he got in bed with her as it was no loss.
When you say woman to prefer to be paid for on a first date. Just imagine the reality men also prefer to be paid for on a fist date. I think it is very arrogant and selfish of woman, that think they should have special privileges in a modern age when they got there equal right to work. Men should also should have equal rights, It so unfair that the government of Thailand conscripts men into the military and not woman, Conscription is just a modern word for slavery, Woman should respect men who want them to pay half and give a woman a choice in where to go on a date.
It is very unfair for woman to expect a man to pay for them on a first date when it is so rare for a woman to do the same for a man.
Men have been so used to be treated badly by woman in this way, they except it, and have been brain washed into thinking it is exceptable. But that don't mean they enjoy being exploited.
Come on Woman give men a break Give them some respect and at least offer to pay half, he probably won't except it any way, but he will appreciate the respect that your not out for a free meal.

[Stacker]

Quote[/b] (paul_au @ Sep. 01 2004,20:27)]It's not about the money with me either, I'm a millionaire and the cost of a date is insignificant.... but if I was a poor man going out with a woman who had an income, I would feel it as being terribly unfair.... It is the principal that I would like to be taken out by a woman as most men never have the privilege of being taken out, that a member of the opposite sex making them feel good by asking them out and paying for them. When a man has a woman ask him out and pays for him. But that don't mean they enjoy being exploited.....

Come on Woman give men a break Give them some respect and at least offer to pay half, he probably won't except it any way, but he will appreciate the respect that your not out for a free meal.

I have read your thoughts on the women sponging before Paul so I am not jumping all over as the others are about to. I am a bit curious however about one of your statements. After paying for dinner what do most men automatically expect? Is that in itself not exploitation to the highest degree?

I mean I can understand some the reasoning Paul, but I'll be damned if a woman is paying for my dinner. I know we live in a new society, an advanced culture. But I see the blisters on my wife's fingers from her job. She works hard to earn her paycheck and puts up with alot that she shouldn't have to. I am not going to make her go through all that so that she can give half her money to me.

Though it is a new world nowadays, many women do not work and are fit to the old fashioned manners, why should they be subjected to the rules of dating changing? I know alot of men that do not want their wives working in a factory like mine is, I can understand that. These men work 2 jobs while the wife is home by herself with the children, anywhere from 65-80 hours a week simply so they can afford to allow their wives not to work. Clearly they care much for their families, though many argue this amount of 'care'. But let me ask you all when the last time you worked an 80 hour week was. One of my friends has worked this schedule for 3 years now.

Paul would you be willing to work 80 hour weeks so that your wife doesn't have to be at work?

[Jake]

Mr Paul,
Perhaps we should require negotiations through second parties to set binding terms for first dates?
I wonder how differently you would see things if you weren't such a hopeless romantic?
hahaha

Looks like you brought out the big guns for this topic !!
Let's see where the replies go......
Cheers

[tauwin]

I can understand "paul_au"reply.
However it's difficult to reply in this topic because I live in Europe.

When a woman pays for the dinner I would say that I will pay it.

What 'paul_au" says about the west is also true however there are a lot of woman who are oldfashion.