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Confusing behavior - Page 2
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  1. #11
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by khonrai View Post
    Hi

    " okay just move on after 5 years as friends and forget her."

    you do not have to forget her, can always be friends, moving on does not always mean a total end of communication unless one or the other is Pyscho. LOL

    But sounds like you wanted much more than she wanted to give. If you enjoy her conversations and talking as friends then keep the communication lines open.

    this might be totaly off topic don't answer if you don't want.but did you spend night with her,
    by your post sounds like you didn't. either by your choice or her choice it says a lot.

  2. #12
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    No we did not spend the night together. She always had a family member with her. I think to give her a way to keep any situation from happening. But like I said she always talked freely and open when we were texting at night before bedtime. More intimate on my part but she did not put up much of an effort to stop me. She even asked me a couple of questions about how I felt about her. Small questions but she did adk

  3. #13
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    And she never let me kiss her. And would come to my room for me to give any hugs hello. Thai manners, no physical contact in public.

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    Re: Confusing behavior

    One other thing I did not mention, she is going through a lot of stress right now her company is moving out of Thailand and she will be without a job in a matter of about 8 to 10 weeks. This does not really help matters too much. She will be losing her Apple iPhone along with the job. I was going to send her one to replace it without her knowing. Kind of an apology gift / thank you gift for being so good to me while I was in Thailand.

  5. #15
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    May we ask how did you two meet?
    "Repudiate bullshit wherever you find it. Reason is worth standing up for." - Peter Boghossian



  6. #16
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by David9862 View Post
    One other thing I did not mention, she is going through a lot of stress right now her company is moving out of Thailand and she will be without a job in a matter of about 8 to 10 weeks. This does not really help matters too much. She will be losing her Apple iPhone along with the job. I was going to send her one to replace it without her knowing. Kind of an apology gift / thank you gift for being so good to me while I was in Thailand.
    It's possible her stress makes her moody and not thinking clearly. I would send that phone, as a thank you gift. Just that, to simplify matters. It would be better to avoid displaying any signs of any emotional entanglement for now- or until the dust settles, if ever. Most women can improve their disposition when given space. Then you might get a clearer idea what you mean to her. But be prepared for anything.

    By the way, welcome to this site and best of luck to you!
    Last edited by Marie; 23-11-15 at 07:56 AM.

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  8. #17
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by Marie View Post
    It would be better to avoid displaying any signs of any emotional entanglement for now- or until the dust settles, if ever.
    Difficult to do, but good advice.

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  10. #18
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    Thank you all for the useful advice

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  12. #19
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by David9862 View Post
    I spent many hours chatting with her in that time about her problems with other men and often just talking and enjoying our time online together. But maybe I just totally misunderstood the Thai relationship behavior.
    This is what stood out mostly as a red flag to me.

    I think you misunderstood female behaviours more than specifically a Thai thing.

    From my experience if a woman holds any thought or feelings that a man may become a romantic partner, she would not talk about her problems with other men. Sure women talk to men about their issues with other guys, but men mistake that as an opening.

    Sometimes, and especially when they are having relationship issues, people just want somebody to pay them attention.

    May this have been the case here I wonder?


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  13. #20
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by Jerome View Post
    This is what stood out mostly as a red flag to me.

    I think you misunderstood female behaviours more than specifically a Thai thing.

    From my experience if a woman holds any thought or feelings that a man may become a romantic partner, she would not talk about her problems with other men. Sure women talk to men about their issues with other guys, but men mistake that as an opening.

    Sometimes, and especially when they are having relationship issues, people just want somebody to pay them attention.
    May this have been the case here I wonder?
    Sorry Jerome, but I hold the opposite view on this! Yes, some women would discuss relationship issues with a man they think is a prospective romantic partner. I even know personally some women who would weave stories that suit a certain purpose, like to get a clue on how much the guy 'likes' them.

    I am not saying that this is CERTAINLY the case here, but I find it significant that-

    Back in July she started talking a little more intimate with me which I dismissed as just being bored and curious behavior. But through the course of the conversation she asked me if I was chasing her. I played it safe and answer by saying only in mind I am because we live too far apart. She responded by saying than I will dismiss you as a boyfriend. And put me back in the friend zone.
    Which suggests that she once thought of him as a boyfriend, not as a mere friend? My hunch on this is she was disappointed that David sounded non-committal.

    And could she be referring to that incident when she said this?

    Prior to the visit she said I had my chance and it was gone before I ever got there.
    Meaning, she gave David a chance to declare his intentions, she asked him pointblank, but he was tentative, his answer sounding more like a rejection- and not too flattering to a woman's ego. Haha.

    But of course I could always be wrong since we have very little information to work on. Plus the fact that she was 'moody' -who knows what's going on inside her? And why was she genuinely upset ? Normally, if a woman decides to drop a guy or a friend, she just does it. She will only get upset if there is a strong emotional component involved- be it frustration, anger or whatnot. Obviously there are missing pieces in the jigsaw puzzle.

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