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Confusing behavior
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  1. #1
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    Confusing behavior

    I have chatted with a Thai professional woman,and I mean she has a legitimate job as a product manager/ team leader coordinator. If she worked in the states she would be at around 15k to around 226k per year. We have chatted on Facebook, Skype and line for just over 5 years. It has been up and down with her. She seems to be very moody at times. And she also seems to use men for her source of amusement. She has no problem going from one to another. I have just been a friend to her most of the time and if she felt I she or I were getting too close or if she was really hurt by a relationship she would back off chatting with me but had always returned to chatting with me. She also would talk to me about her relationship problems.
    Back in July she started talking a little more intimate with me which I dismissed as just being bored and curious behavior. But through the course of the conversation she asked me if I was chasing her. I played it safe and answer by saying only in mind I am because we live too far apart. She responded by saying than I will dismiss you as a boyfriend. And put me back in the friend zone.
    I decided to visit her in Thailand and one of her friends encourage our meeting so I did. While I was there she was quiet and distant during our face to face time with little conversation but would chat for a couple of hours on the phone at night before bed I told her how my feelings were for her and she seemed to to be a little more than lukewarm towards me almost tilting to warming up for 4of the 8days I was there. The last 3days of my stay there she was cold and quiet.
    When I returned home she went nearly totally quiet. I was chatting with her friend about her and how I felt and he told her. Well she told me it was over and she does not want to hear from me again. She also told me our lifestyles are too far apart. She was genuinely upset.
    I am pretty sure this is the end of any friendship I have with her.
    After this long story of mine one of my questions is do Thai women use men on a regular basis for fun and amusement? And do they also put men on a social and income status scale to determine if they are in their social class for any kind of relationship intimate or friend??

  2. #2
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    Many Thai women will have many men friends. Many people, Thai or otherwise, "use" many friends for "fun and amusement". Thais are often very playful.

    Not knowing you, her, and what transpired during your visit, it's hard to make the call.
    "Repudiate bullshit wherever you find it. Reason is worth standing up for." - Peter Boghossian



  3. #3
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    Quote Originally Posted by Curt View Post
    Many Thai women will have many men friends. Many people, Thai or otherwise, "use" many friends for "fun and amusement". Thais are often very playful.

    Not knowing you, her, and what transpired during your visit, it's hard to make the call.
    Prior to the visit she said I had my chance and it was gone before I ever got there. But when I got there I tried getting too close to her emotional. But she was cold and would have no part of it. But at the end of the evening we would chat online and talk more closely and I told her how I felt. She was a more tender hearted online but made no commitment. The last 3 days of my 8 days there she was very cold and quiet. Like I said before when I got back to the states I talked with her friend about her and my feelings for her. He told her and she got very upset and terminated our friendship because she asked to not talk about my feelings for her with him. So in essence it is my fault for going against her wishes. But I feel she is going to the extreme to terminate a 5 year friendship over it. I spent many hours chatting with her in that time about her problems with other men and often just talking and enjoying our time online together. But maybe I just totally misunderstood the Thai relationship behavior. I don't know at this point and not sure if she will even ever put me back in her friend zone again. But thank you for taking the time to answer me.
    And this will not keep me from visiting Thailand again. She did behave as an excellent host while I was there and showed me some off the beaten path attractions in the Sampran area. I love Thailand and the people I met there and definitely plan on visiting again.
    And again thank you for your response to my problem

  4. #4
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    I almost think sometimes that she may be afraid or unwilling to commitment and is backing away from me. Again I could be misreading her and Thai behavior?

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    Re: Confusing behavior

    Hi David,
    Her behavior certainly seems perplexing. Maybe this is a clue to her coldness?-

    But through the course of the conversation she asked me if I was chasing her. I played it safe and answer by saying only in mind I am because we live too far apart. She responded by saying than I will dismiss you as a boyfriend. And put me back in the friend zone.
    Perhaps she was expecting more certainty or 'commitment' from your side? But wait, how could she consider you as a boyfriend if it's not clear that you're chasing her?

  6. #6
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    Hi

    You said it all right in your post." She told me our lifestyles are too far apart." She was genuinely upset.

    That could mean financial. or your personal appearance, or your manners or perceived lack of class and sophistication or too much bascily no chemistry. are you a heavy drinker have body odor thai's hate body odor. only you know what see meant. Move on it's over.

    all thai women seem flirty by western men and take it as a come on, when they are not. it is just their manerism.

  7. #7
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    I am clean and well kept and in good shape. Always get compliments on my appearance.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to David9862 For This Useful Post:

    Marie (22-11-15)

  9. #8
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    Don't drink and neither does she.

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    Re: Confusing behavior

    I always get compliments on my appearance and told I am well kept and in good shape. I do not drink and neither does she.
    But okay just move on after 5 years as friends and forget her.

  11. #10
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    Re: Confusing behavior

    Hi

    " okay just move on after 5 years as friends and forget her."

    you do not have to forget her, can always be friends, moving on does not always mean a total end of communication unless one or the other is Pyscho. LOL

    But sounds like you wanted much more than she wanted to give. If you enjoy her conversations and talking as friends then keep the communication lines open.

    this might be totaly off topic don't answer if you don't want.but did you spend night with her,
    by your post sounds like you didn't. either by your choice or her choice it says a lot.

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