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Confused by younger Thai man
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  1. #1
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    Confused by younger Thai man

    Sawadeekha! my name is Dawn and i am from Singapore.
    i have good female friends in both Thailand and Singapore but i am clueless regarding the Thai male species which brings me here!
    (please spare me a listening ear / reading eye for a few minutes...)

    I recently met this Thai guy living really near me through a language exchange app and he invited me for coffee, lunch and dinner.
    so we met up like 2 times each week and we get on very well. He is a landscape architect working here and he is a really kind and sweet person.
    He always walks me home and recently came by my place to give me a belated birthday and new year gift ( a pretty mug and a box of candy).

    Big problem is i am actually 9 years older! He is 25 going on 26 and i am already 34 (and a divorcee).
    I am sometimes confused by his actions and sweetness although on we don't text too much.
    When we meet we always have lots to talk about and he is tall and good-looking (at least to me)... i have never had a Thai male friend before so i am
    not sure what to make of it. He never calls me 'Pee' until now and i have also never called him 'Nong'. He has even suggested going on trips together
    to which i was taken aback because in our culture we usually only go for trips with a boyfriend or partner.

    So he has me confused with his regular invitations to meet. Like 2 or 3 times a week. I began wondering if he is just treating me like a much-needed
    neighborhood friend who can keep him company when he is alone. I tried to ask : "pai Date after work ror?" (so, are we going on a date after work?) when he texted to "let`s go eat something one of this weekdays" and his reply was a cool "kin khao" (eat dinner) which means he just wants dinner. and 1 hour later "chai kor dai" (we could also do a date)...

    I am confused as to whether he just treats me like a neighborhood big sister. it may be that in their hometowns they visit or have dinner with friends in the hood regularly? and does he treat me so nice because it is the Thai way of treating Pees with respect and kindness.

    Sorry for the long story since i have never had a Thai male friend before i need some advice so that i can adjust how to feel about him and our friendship as it is not difficult for me to fall in love with such a person. 555 Thank you for your time! - Dawn

  2. #2
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    Re: Confused by younger Thai man

    After reading it I don't know as well.

    A friendly neighbor big sister relation or a future boyfriend? I don't know. But the gift sounds like something more.... (my opinion as male, but not Thai)
    I wouldn't be serious about the age difference. Same men like women who are older or don't like "mentally young" women.

    If there is a big difference in wealth, than look critical if he really likes you or just your money.....things like that doesn't only happen to middle age European men....

    Good luck and keep us updated

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    Dawn2912 (07-01-16)

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    Re: Confused by younger Thai man

    Thank you very much for your advice khun h90.

    i am not well-off at all and he knows i don't own anything and still live with my mother and sister,
    so far when we go out he has paid for the first time and subsequently we share.

    it is always the case with foreigners i guess, the doubts about if they are genuinely keen or after your $ or a visa to stay on will somehow arise at the back of one's mind.

    Anyway i guess we are still at the getting to know you stage so although i am still perplexed, i will just leave it at that and update again if there are any update! 555

    Thank you and have a good day !
    Dawn

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    Re: Confused by younger Thai man

    Are you considering him as a potential boyfriend? I ask because I would not like to see you get hurt. I'm no expert on Thai men, even after having been married to one for twenty years. However, I have known Thais in general spend money on a gift for someone they want to impress in some way, without there necessarily being romantic intentions.

    You say you met him recently, which to me says you've not known him near long enough to consider a long term relationship. You've been divorced, which also tells me you know heartache and disappointment and probably don't want more. Please take this slowly and guard your heart.

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    Dawn2912 (07-01-16), Marie (06-01-16)

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    Re: Confused by younger Thai man

    Dawn2912,

    Welcome to the forums!

    I would think he must like your company. But beyond that, it's difficult to 'interpret' his actions. Some Thai guys are hard to read. They can be overly friendly with one girl, but not necessarily for a romantic motive. However, there are also guys who nurture romantic feelings for a woman, but too shy to declare it.

    In view of this, I'm inclined to follow a rule of thumb taught to us ladies by a relationship guru, which I find quite sensible, especially in cross-cultural setting That is, let the man articulate his intentions, to avoid any misreadings.

    Thanks for sharing your story.

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    Re: Confused by younger Thai man

    Quote Originally Posted by Dawn2912 View Post
    Big problem is i am actually 9 years older! He is 25 going on 26 and i am already 34 (and a divorcee).
    I think your confusion was because of the age difference? While it is not common in Singapore for guys to go after older ladies, it is actually very common in Thailand. Recently a Thai actress got into a big fight over a younger boyfriend.. The age difference was like 8 or 9 also.. Tamada.
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    Dawn2912 (07-01-16), Marie (07-01-16)

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    Re: Confused by younger Thai man

    Dear Susana, Sawadeekha! Thank you so much for your very sensible and kind advice! Especially the second part where you said i should prevent unnecessary heartache and disappointment. It really hit home and i appreciate your words very much! i will guard my heart while getting to know him as a friend first .

    Khop khun makmak na kha. ^/\^ Dawn

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    Re: Confused by younger Thai man

    Dear Marie, Sawadeekha! Thank you for your kind reply! I gained a bit of foresight into the behavior of Thai men

    Why didn't I think of the rule of thumb !!! you can be my relationship guru ! and i find it such a simple, straightforward and sensible rule; to let the man articulate his intentions to avoid any misreadings and guard my little heart. this is the best piece of RS advice i have heard in a long time!!!! thanks heaps!!

    i will follow this rule from now and for the rest of my friendships with men in general!

    Khop Khun Kha! Dawn

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    Re: Confused by younger Thai man

    Quote Originally Posted by Dawn2912 View Post
    Dear Marie, Sawadeekha! Thank you for your kind reply! I gained a bit of foresight into the behavior of Thai men

    Why didn't I think of the rule of thumb !!! you can be my relationship guru ! and i find it such a simple, straightforward and sensible rule; to let the man articulate his intentions to avoid any misreadings and guard my little heart. this is the best piece of RS advice i have heard in a long time!!!! thanks heaps!!

    i will follow this rule from now and for the rest of my friendships with men in general!

    Khop Khun Kha! Dawn
    But if he is afraid of articulate his feelings because he doesn't want to harm the friendship?

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    Re: Confused by younger Thai man

    Oh Khun h90, good morning! thank you again! hmmm... i don't know him well enough to know his feelings or what we can do but i will take the advice of Marie and Susana because both makes very good sensible sense to me. I think we both need more time to see how our friendship grows! if he doesn't say anything then we can just be friends!
    It is more safe that way ! Of course if all things go well and i really like him much after a longer \time of understanding then i might muster up my courage to say something but for now, it would be more sensible to protect my little heart !

    Khop khun kha Khun h90! have a wonderful day ahead na kha! ^/\^

  19. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dawn2912 For This Useful Post:

    h90 (07-01-16), Marie (07-01-16), Susana (07-01-16)

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