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A thai crush (my thailand experience)
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  1. #1
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    Hi everyone, I am new member here

    I recently came back on a trip to East China, Cambodia, and Thailand. I am half Chinese/half Cambodian and went to go visit family in both countries with my mother and father. We were lucky enough to be able to take a side trip to Thailand. Unfortunately I was only able to spend 4 days in Thailand, but even in those few days I feel as if I have fallen in love with the country.

    We crossed into Thailand from the Cambodia border at Poipet December 28th (about a 1.5 hours drive). Our first two days we spent in and around Bangkok visiting the Night Bazaar at Suan-Lum Rama IV (?), the Grand Palace, went to a floating market, took a boat ride along the river, and did lots of shopping The third day we went to Pattaya and took a boat ride to a smaller island where I ate the freshest seafood ever. I live in San Diego, California, so I am used to the ocean, but the water surrounding the island in Pattaya was the most blue/green color I have seen & so translucent. Amazingly beautiful. Unfortunately we could not stay for any of the cabaret shows (which charge almost double-price for visitors.)

    I was born in Cambodia, but came to the U.S. when I was 3yrs old so I pretty much had an American upbringing. I feel as if I was given a glimpse of an amazing country only to have it taken quickly away. This leaves me wanting to go back to Thailand so much. The bustling excitement of traffic-ridden Bangkok still lingers in my head. Even San Diego/LA doesn't seem to compare.

    There is also another part of my experience. Our "guide" during our stay in Thailand was a 25 year old son whose family is a friend of my family. He is half Cambodian/half Thai living in Bangkok. I believe his father is in the Thai army. He spoke to us mostly in Khmer (which is unfortunate that I did not get to learn more Thai) & only knows a little English. Even with those obstacles he & I were still able to have a fun time together. I would try to correct his English/teach him more or have him speak in Khmer and have me try to speak back, lol.

    I know this may be another going to Thailand and falling in love story, but although this is not love, I have developed strong feelings for this person. I hope you see my dilemma now. I am a 21 yr old female who currently has a year left of university. He & I have exchanged numbers and have talked several times on the phone since I have returned home. He is currently going to school to learn more English and I am trying to learn Thai and brush up on my Khmer.

    I wish to return to Thailand in a year or two. Actually, I would like to return right now, but lol, that's not possible since school has started again. Unfortunately if I do return I probably will have to do so without telling my parents the true reason... or if at all. I was brought up with the traditional strict upbringing. During Thailand, he had asked my mom if he could take me to a movie & she would not let me (I am her youngest daughter, btw). They do not know I talk to him on the phone, but I have done a lot of things that my parents were unaware of. I would have missed out on a lot of great experiences, otherwise.

    If I do return to Thailand, it would most likely be on my own and I hope it to be for two weeks or more... in hopes that I can spend more time with this person. Is that rational? I am even considering studying abroad over next summer so that I am able to be in Thailand again.

    Wow, I wrote so much. Thank you for reading through

  2. #2
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    Wow 21 years old. Old enough to fight and die in a war, and still under the thumb of your parents. Well I suppose it's a drag having to go to university, but it may give you better opportunities in the future, it really has delayed your opportunity to become independent at an earlier age. I finished my education by 17 years old and wished I had left earlier at 15 years old, but at the time I did not know my direction in life. By my 21st birthday I had almost made my first million, so to me university would have delayed my development.
    You falling in love well that's another story. That is a fantasy, love is fleeting, what is love any way, just some thing in your imagination. My suggestion is there are millions of American men, just waiting to go out with a beautiful lady like you, how about meeting one of them first, and if that don't work out, when you have the financial independence in a couple of years time, go back to Thailand and see your man.
    If you ever come to Sydney Australia we can have a coffee.
    bye from Paul.

  3. #3
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    Hey there, csdncer, and welcome to the boards.

    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] ]If I do return to Thailand, it would most likely be on my own and I hope it to be for two weeks or more... in hopes that I can spend more time with this person. Is that rational? I am even considering studying abroad over next summer so that I am able to be in Thailand again.
    It's helpful to keep in mind that things could change over the next while (six months, or 18 months, or whatever summer you decide to go.) He could meet somebody, you could meet somebody, or other things could change and you might suddenly be torn between staying in the States and jetting across the Pacific.

    I know that personally, I wouldn't be able to do so in good faith, simply because I have a regrettably short attention span I interact daily with women as part of my free Thai massage service, hear all about their problems and dilemmas, and even flirt with them a little bit, but at the end of the day, even though I can still remember much of it, I'm not really affected by it. It takes a special lady to get my attention, and keep it!

    In that vein, perhaps I'm not such a good one to ask about this but as a young male who has dated several women from nearly every continent and all walks of life, I'll leave you with this.

    I think that we're all different, and in the end, it'll be up to ou to decide whether or not it's rational. You're old enough to make your own decisions (even though doing that in an Asian family can be tough - I'm Filipino, BTW.)

  4. #4
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    na na paul... I disagree.

    I'm in the same case as her, trully, it's fun to read this post, I see myself through her.
    at the beginning there is the unrationals feelings from love. when I came back in france this october, I booked my planes ticket for next february !!
    love is so great , you have to follow it if it can makes you a best person, if it can helps you to grow up, to develop yourself.
    let me use my example:
    I felt in love with a girl (not very original for a farang boy, okay) but I felt in love with the country aswell.
    everything you felt I felt it and I think I understand you perfectly.
    so as I'm student I thought I'd better to refrain myself, to turn down my feelings and so on. but it created a incredible motivation inside me, I imagined that I could study there, as study abroad is always a good thing. so I have followed my way since then, making apointments with my university important persons, with the foreign office, with the embassies, thousands of mails, entire hours of web searching for the right university and now my project is almost fixed, I made it on my own, without any help cause nobody relied on my project (he is planing to study in thailand?? is that a joke?).
    that is to say that at the origin of my idea was love, love for a fascinating girl and for her country (I'm positive than one passion feed the other one), at the end it helped me to build a project and I'm sure that it will makes me another person, a better one, more open, closer of what I always wanted me to be...I'm 21 as well and you have to remember that human stories have no rule and each person is unique. to me, slow down our feeling is a crime.

    as well, as I know very well the process to establish an exchange and an agreement beetween to foreign universities I could help u to search, if you're interested of course.

    myt adress: uranjum@hotmail.com

  5. #5
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    csdncer I love this post its almost the same thing I had the last time I went to Thailand.
    Im half thai/half swe when I was 17 (19 now) it was 3 years since Ive been to Thailand and I was so nervous and didnt want to go to Thailand.
    But after the first week I was so in love with Thailand, if u can say that.
    I loved the weather, the people, the food, my relatives and so much more that I would have stayed if I was a little older and done with my education.
    Now Im done with my education and trying to get a job and earn some money before I move to Thailand and raise my own family.
    but that will take a couple of years

  6. #6
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    Hi Boonyen

    If you think that at 19 you are done with your education, will work a couple of years and come to Thailand to raise a family of your own.

    Well sorry Boonyen that is only wishful thinking.

    Pls be aware that here in Thailand Boonyen, when working here you are going to need a uni. degree. Especially as a foreigner. Here, is unlike Europe where experiece and working knowledge is held in high esteem. Here your documentation says it all.

    If you are Swedish or of Thai nationality or both you had better get yourself a place at uni. for four years.

    If you hold Swedish nationality you wont even be allowed to live in the country on a long time basis unless you find a job in a big co. or teach here, but since you have no skill (Eng. isnt even your native language which makes it even harder) and no degree you wont get a job here let alone a work permit from the Min.of Lab.
    www.thai-blogs.com - Stories and Photos about Life in Thailand
    www.bangkokscams.com
    www.thaicolumn.com

  7. #7
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    I definitely am finishing university, there is no doubt to that. Unfortunately, Paul, the school system in the United States is designed so that one usually only finishes high school by age 17. From thereon, people are given the choice to go on to obtain a higher education in universities/colleges (an extra 4 years).

    I suppose my main question is whether it would be better to visit again as soon as possible so that I am able to see if I do have deep feelings for him or whether it is just a fleeting flirtation. Right now, any possibility of going back to Thailand would be summer of '06, but I might be able to go in the winter of '05. This trip would just be by myself too. Even though he is a friend of the family, he is still somewhat of a stranger to me. Would I be getting myself into a rather dangerous situation traveling by myself to meet someone? I actually do not have much doubt that I will be safe, though. But if things do not work out between us, I do not know what I would do with the rest of my time in Thailand... it seems like a big gamble, but then how do I know unless I give it a try?

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (csdncer @ Jan. 28 2005,14:32)]it seems like a big gamble, but then how do I know unless I give it a try?
    indeed...
    that's how life teach us to think

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] ]Pls be aware that here in Thailand Boonyen, when working here you are going to need a uni. degree.
    Having a university degree to work in Thailand is a back wood step and a waist of time, it will limit you to working for a boss.
    My business career started as a teenager exporting cars from Japan. I worked and lived in Japan for a few years, and I have no degree. If you own and run your own business why waist your time with going to school, just work hard for a couple of years in the west and use that money to set up a business in Thailand. When you look at the amount of working Farangs in Thailand, many of them own businesses and have no formal qualifications. Just look how many clubs in Pattaya are owned by Farangs.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] ]Having a university degree to work in Thailand is a back wood step and a waist of time, it will limit you to working for a boss.
    Many individuals with university degrees own their own businesses. They also know how to spell "waste" and what I assume is "backward." People also might want to own business that don't involve selling booze and women to farang visitors. Some people have better morals and loftier ambitions. Such individuals also have values other than money alone that guide their behavior. Many even value wisdom and knowledge for "their" own sake.

    Back to your quandry csdncer, getting the education will better prepare you to understand your world and adapt better to a variety of conditions. A university degree will expand your options and broaden your horizons. Not only will you have more and better opportunities, but you will also be respected for your ability to reason and interpret information rationally. At the very least, you will learn how to spell.
    Life is learning. If you stop learning, you might as well be dead.

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