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When you don't understand Thai woman
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  1. #1
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    question When you don't understand Thai woman

    I work with Thai woman in the office. Sometime she is crazyyy I mean I just don't understand the way she feel and act. Sometime she is very niceee to me..treat me very well.
    Well..she is above me..but much younger. sometime she speak very quiet and when I don't understand..she is angry with me..
    I try to understand her but sometime its not easy. Its not because of language but the charactor I meant.
    Any advise?

  2. #2
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    When you say she is above you, I presume, she is in either in a higher ranked position in the company, or she is your boss, but she is also much younger.
    Well you have come to the right place, I'm the expert on this forum about Thai woman.
    This woman is obviously confused, her Thai upbringing has put you in a higher position than her, because of your advancing years, but her higher position in the company puts her in the higher position.
    Her confusion, leads to frustration, wanting to be nice to you to respect you as to respect an elder, but she knows her ranking in the company puts her above you and she should be tough but her youth is telling her to be nice., Her mild manner then swinging to anger, when her frustrations get to her, as pent-up emotion builds up and she is like kettle blowing off steam.

  3. #3
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    Problem can be solved by simply sit down and talk at lunch some time and ask what is going on and what to make thing go better.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chino1
    Problem can be solved by simply sit down and talk at lunch some time and ask what is going on and what to make thing go better.
    I think it takes more than that for Thai women... Most Thai women will not really tell u how they exactly feel because of being "khreng jai"... I've stepped on toes of many Thai women and after I beg for forgiveness, they normally forgive me on the appearance... but in actual fact, they "noi jai" about it... sometimes I don't even know what I did wrong and when I asked for face to face talk, they say "its nothing".....

  5. #5
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    Communication is the key if you feel that she hides her feeling it is meant she is not relax or not totally trust you with her feeling. It is not one shot solution it has to be done ( communicate) daily bases.

    All women are alike no matter what the nationality is, she is always needing more attention to secure the love some easy to talk to some may take longer time more communicates than other as long as you are sincere to solve the problem then she will opens up her heart to listen and talks.

    Imagine two mute lovers try explain each other the problem with the sign language I am sure it is harder than people who can talk.
    Last edited by Chino1; 08-12-05 at 02:04 AM.

  6. #6
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    Thank you to all of you.

    Paul... I understand those thing you say and you're right, she is one of my boss and very professional about WORK, but between her and me is very unprofressional..you know..its not easy to explain.
    I tell my friend the story.. he say..hey! maybe she like you but just try to hide somthing.. haha. Well..how come I can ask her this kind of question..its look 'not right' for me to ask Thai woman like that(my opinion). She may think that this guy just want to go out with me or what.

    Bugky... exactly! sometime she is very 'khreng jai', and allow me to copy your sentence
    "sometimes I don't even know what I did wrong and when I asked for face to face talk, they say "its nothing"
    well.. whats going on here.

    Chino1... one day we went home together.. I meant same way home. In the taxi I asked her about this matter. She just say its nothing and even say sorry to me if she make me uncomfortable to work with. Then..quiet.
    Well.. she is a quiet person, strong person (stronger than me sometime) and so on. She is the mystery I can say. well.. but she is cute though.

    Tonight we will have to meet the client together, I'll share the story with you guys...haha..would be fun..I can see the sign

  7. #7
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    Bucky, like myself, work with Thai women and what he said is pretty spot-on.

    Deep-down inside, perhaps Chino is right in what he said regarding 'all women are alike no matter the nationality'.

    However, women are also very unlike depending on the nationailty. Bucky is right in saying that many-a-time Thai people bottle-up their feelings inside. More often than not, Thais will not feel it appreciative if a westerner comes in with his western ideals of 'sitting down and talking things through'.

    Chino goes into a bit about 'lovers' but keeping to the tune of working with Thai colleagues - you have to be 'very gentle'.

    I have worked with Thais for ten years now and since being a teacher most of my colleagues are female. I can't count now just how many times i have had to help foreigners out after they have had a run in with a Thai female colleague. Most, on trying to make things better, had in fact only made the situation worse by 'trying to force a quick remedy'.

    Chino may have kind intentions and... yes, if you have a 'run in' do sit down after and try polite conversation but dont get into the subject of what youve fought about. In Thailand bygones are bygones.
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  8. #8
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    I'm back from Phuket. raining over there.
    We went together to work, after meeting she was nice to me, in the morning when we met at the airport she was nice to me..brought me to coffee shop..ordered coffee for me, on board she was nice to me, in Phuket she also nice to me.. but in the next morning I think she hate me :(

    Our company booked the hotel next to the beach for us, the location was sooo nice..I even can see the beach while I'm lying on my bed wow..think about vacation. Her room is next door.. well man..she is not ugly at all.. I was thinking about something different.. she is not a kind of traditional or old fashion Thai woman at all..but I am a gentle man (maybe haha)
    well..I admit.. that night when we arrive at the hotel.. I was just about to knock her door and ask for glass of wine and chit-chat with her but I thought she was so tired the whole day..
    I think about that would be the good time to 'Sit and Talk' about the matter between me and her.. but I don't think I can do it so I've change my mind and call my friend in BKK. I've got the plan..

    In early morning we need to rush to the meeting then I've done everything early and wait for her at the lobby.. she say hi with big smile.. (well.. how long I've worked with her..now a day I do really care about her.. oh boy!!!)
    It would be very long story.. let me say. When we get back to the hotel.. I think about take a nap but also need to talk. When I wake then go to take a walk.. saw her sitting on the beach.. i say hi and sit next to her.. I start conver.. and end up with.. her tear.. I was shock!!!.. its my fault..I should not kiss her. my fault!

    After that she don't talk to me anymore.. maybe she also shock.. this morning she run out for meeting with the client whole day.. don't call me and don't ask for the work she gave me.. :(
    Let see tomorrow.. I'll talk to her when she arrive... now I know what to do.

  9. #9
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    She talk to me but not the same.. more quiet and feel so uncomfortable
    I try to find the good time sit and talk about what was happened in Phuket that night..but still can't...seems like she try to stay away from me.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by dejungle
    She talk to me but not the same.. more quiet and feel so uncomfortable
    I try to find the good time sit and talk about what was happened in Phuket that night..but still can't...seems like she try to stay away from me.
    Now I don't know what is going on, you might try to ask her friend about her make sure you start conversation with "about the work that you wish to understand her better and need some information so you can improve youself to make the work place more friendly and comfortable for all.

    Good Luck
    Last edited by Chino1; 09-12-05 at 10:59 PM.

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