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ambivalent experiences
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  1. #1
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    ambivalent experiences

    this may be a rant
    ================
    speaking of thai experiences.. has anyone had really negative experiences of thailand?

    i first came to thailand almost 14 years ago at age 13.. and that was my first experience of getting bullied.. !!! obviously things were not going to proceed at great pace.. i ended up leaving the country but came back again to give it a second try.. school worked out better.. but unfortunately my experience really didnt extend beyond the expat community by the time i left the country for university.. ..

    since then i have coming on and off to visit my father.. my mother unfortunately passing away while i was away... every time i come back its to a different place and somehow i never really integrated.. i have managed to learn some thai and i can just about read it but i am sad as i dont really have any thai friends. i dont live here long enough to make any lasting impression.. its lonely here.. when people ask me where i am from? its hard to say.. having no roots..

    and here i am for yet another time and i have a week and half to go... and i think my father is finally going to leave the country which i associate with loss..

    i feel relief that i dont really have to come back here anymore but all these years with this country.. has left a mark on me.. i love this country for its vibrancy, but my past, i fear has just made me completely ambivalent about thailand.. i try to make an effort.. but i fear an immigrant's life is always a narrow vision doomed to succumb to an unforgiving heart.

  2. #2
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    Yes I can empathize with your situation. I was in fact the most unpopular kid in my school, I had absolutely no friends and hundreds of enemies. I look back at my school days as a real life horror movie, with a barrage of relentless bullies picking on me every school day, year in and year out, having to fight just to keep my lunch. Having know one to back me up at school, I have a total distrust of people today.
    The best form of revenge is success and to this day I'm richer stronger faster and better than these low life's. On the odd occasions, I see one of these degraded losers in the street and I have great pleasure in spitting in there face, as unlike at school, they have no tough friends to back them up.
    If I was you, never forget your enemies, but move on in your life and make these people look and feel insignificant in comparison to your advanced intellect.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by paul_au


    On the odd occasions, I see one of these degraded losers in the street and I have great pleasure in spitting in there face, as unlike at school, they have no tough friends to back them up.
    If I was you, never forget your enemies, but move on in your life and make these people look and feel insignificant in comparison to your advanced intellect.

    Personally I do not equate "I have great pleasure in spitting in there face" with "advanced intellect". In fact quite the opposite...

    David
    My new travel blog: https://www.weekender.blog/

  4. #4
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    Interesting topic starter: WELCOME!

    Around the Net you'll find that most of the foreigners who have a treasure trove of negative stories about Thailand are those who pass all their time here in the ex-pat communities.

    I personally know of one European guy who came to see me this year in Suphanburi after he contacted me through paknamweb, and even though this guy had only spent a total of less than one month in the country, already had a back-pack worth of demining and horrifying stories about cheating Thais, this and that.... of course it didnt take me long to figure out that he had gained this wealth of one-sided knowledge from ex-pats living in Thailand and those writing on the Net, or both. I had to spend the next two days trying to give him the facts!!

    There are a few ex-pats here at paknamweb who have lots-a good positive experiences about Thailand and not surprisingly, they don't spend all their time mixing 'only' in ex-pat communities scattered around the country.

    Of course, i dont mind visiting the bars of Sukhumvit, Silom or Khao Sarn from time time, but i dont make it my life.

    If you really wanna get a feel and understanding of the country and her peoples, you really have to 'get out there' and mix with Thais. Learning Thai is also a great advantage.

    It doesn't matter if you cant speak Thai that well, Thais are considerate of any effort made.

    Going back to all that negative stuff about Thailand around in the ex-pats community - it is not surprising that not only do they spend their life in the bars with other ex-pats they also cant even speak a sentence of Thai even after having been here for 5 years.

    Dont give up on Thailand - it is a great country!
    www.thai-blogs.com - Stories and Photos about Life in Thailand
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    A great reply, steve.

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    Quote Originally Posted by stevesuphan

    Going back to all that negative stuff about Thailand around in the ex-pats community - it is not surprising that not only do they spend their life in the bars with other ex-pats they also cant even speak a sentence of Thai even after having been here for 5 years.
    I can't speak (yet) with great experience of Thailand having so far only spent two one month trips there last year and am about to embark on a two month trip next week. อุบลวรรณ and I try to stay out of the places where farangs congregate but that description fits more than one that we have bumped in to.

    I am reminded in particular of last Christmas Day, we met up with a couple that were staying in the same hotel as us and went to a restaurant. I was just coming to the end of my second stay in Thailand but as soon as I got together with อุบลวรรณ realized I had to make an effort to learn at least some Thai if our relationship was to go anywhere as even her sister that worked with her didn't speak English so the rest of her family wouldn't.

    Anyway back to the Christmas meal, our friends had been together for five years and he was on his tenth or twelveth extended trip to stay with her, he must have spent more than 50% of the previous 5 years in Thailand, but to my complete amazement he didn't speak a word of Thai not having made the effort!!! I was teaching him words and he was getting annoyed that I was saying things in Thai to อุบลวรรณ and his girlfriend and thought we were talking about him. (We have a similar problem in Wales that if English people enter a room where Welsh is being spoken they are convinced it is just so that they can't understand and that everyone was speaking English until they entered.) At the end of the meal he began arguing with his girlfriend about what pecentage of the meal each should pay as she had a starter but he had an extra beer. อุบลวรรณ and I just paid the whole bill for them and left. [Yes, his name was Paul but from Ireland... ]

    I find a little effort is much appreciated and is often 'paid back with interest'.

    David
    My new travel blog: https://www.weekender.blog/

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    Quote Originally Posted by stevesuphan

    Going back to all that negative stuff about Thailand around in the ex-pats community - it is not surprising that not only do they spend their life in the bars with other ex-pats they also cant even speak a sentence of Thai even after having been here for 5 years.
    Even I learnt how to say hello in Thai, for my short time living with my Thai girlfriends family and having said that, they said they could not believe my Thai accent, they said I speak like a native Thai speaker.

    Yes there are mostly good people in Thailand and some bad people, it is just some times hard to get the good to come out of the good people, unless you have got the social skills to extract it.

  8. #8
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    Some people can not speak Thai, I for one can not, altho I have spoken Viet, Arabic, Spanish/mexican and french,,but I can not hear well and the tonal sounds do not get thru to me and even if i try, the Thai can not understand me and it is better if i just stick mainly to english. But even at that I have no problems doing or getting what I want and have Thai friends that speak no english, but we get along fine. My wife, who speaks english much prefers me to stick to english too.

  9. #9
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    I try to stay out of the places where farangs congregate but that description fits more than one that we have bumped in to.
    I prefer to stay away from 'touristy' places as well because I find that I do not get as much out of the experience compared to staying at a place where there are locals. The feeling is totally different.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by FaranginPhetch
    Some people can not speak Thai
    I'm sorry but this cannot possibly be true. How many Thai's are there that can't speak Thai?

    All people have within them the ability to speak and hear tones its just alot harder for some than others and you have to find a good way to learn how to say and hear the tones.

    I'm not saying your a bad person for not speaking Thai, it's up to you. But don't go around saying that some people simply can't speak it because it can put people who find it difficult off trying.

    Maybe your wife prefers you not to speak Thai because she'd rather you didn't understand what she is saying when she talks to her freinds/familly!

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