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Any Americans here that are married to a Thai? I need your help.
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  1. #1
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    thumbs up Any Americans here that are married to a Thai? I need your help.

    What's up everybody -

    Warning: This is going to be a long post...

    I finally decided to register after lurking for about four or five months off and on. The next six months are going to contain some of the more interesting moments in my 25 years of existance, so I'm gonna start at the beginning because I need some friendly peer advice:

    I went to Thailand with a group of buddies back in September 2005. I didn't have much expectation because I work overseas, and I had never traveled to a different country just for 16 days of drunkeness and stupidity. I couldn't wait! I spent the first five days walking around in a drunken stupor, but to tell y'all the honest truth, that's not really my thing. My friends were doing it so I said what the hell... I only get vacation every 4 months, so it was whatever.

    ALL OF A SUDDEN... Ten days before I leave, I met the most beautiful, sweetest, kind hearted girl through a friend of a friend. We all triple dated and saw that stupid crap "Brothers Grimm". It was a terrible movie, but I wasn't paying too much attention to it - I was focused on "Joy".

    Joy and I hit it off and honestly, I had never felt this way about a girl so quickly. I'm usually annoyed by women within the first couple of days but this girl was so sweet and I just...knew...I KNEW I had to have her. We spent the rest of my vacation together until it was time for me to leave. We wrote each other a few times a week via e-mail and called each other occasionally but honestly, I didn't expect her to be true to me and I wasn't true to her. However, I did tell her I was going to come back to see her and I did - this past January. Well, as sh*t happens, I contracted pink eye in Thailand and was put on medical leave. I could not come back to work until it cleared, and then I had to go through a tedious process of trying to clear myself via the physicians in Thailand and the homebase of my employment in Houston, TX. To sum things up: I spent over two months in Thailand, and Joy was with me every single day. We definitely fell in love with each other and this girl went from saying little to nothing to me in terms of conversation to full blown conversations. We speak to each other every single day, and I'm going back to Thailand for trip number three at the end of May for 21 days.

    And you know what? This is the girl I'm gonna marry. I can feel it inside of me, and I've never felt this way before...ever. Sorry to get all lovey / dovey with y'all, but that's how I feel.

    When I come back to Thailand in May, I am going to travel to her village to meet her family. I know she's in love with me because she would never talk about her family, or let me meet them when her mother came to Pattaya for her hospital visits, but now she is enthusiastic about me meeting her family and I am too. I can't wait. I really want her to meet my family first before we actually get married, and I need to know the BEST way to go about bringing her home to America. Now... I don't want to come on this board and expect everyone to do the work for me. I've been researching it as much as possible on my own through the Thai/American embassy website but honestly, it's all confusing to me. I want to make sure I understand the process:

    1) She has to get a Thai passport first.

    2) (?) I have to visit the American embassy and request a Visa for her?

    3) She gets interviewed. How does this go? Is there anything I can do to approve the chances of her getting accepted? I know they want to ensure she will return. Of COURSE she's gonna come back. I will be travelling back with her and she has a gravely ill mother to take care of. Are they going to need some proof of that? I've read some posts on here, especially the story posted by PailinLovesBeam about getting her siblings over to the States. Would writing a letter honestly help? How about getting my parents, and my Dad who is retired military with honors, to help with writing a letter and saying she will definitely come back to Thailand? Would that help at all?
    If I MUST, I will get engaged to her in order to bring her back, but would this help?

    4) They generally want proof that she has obligations in Thailand and that she will return, right? Well, a little more about her: She's 21 years old, no kids, no university education. She had a full time job but recently quit (earlier this month) in order to care for her sick mother who is in the hospital right now. She has an older sister, who is about to marry a Thai guy, and a younger 13 year old sister. Her father died when she was 15 years old.

    5) I've began to save every single shred of 'evidence' that we have a relationship, and not an "arrangment" in case something ever came up. I'm saving Western Union receipts, movie ticket stubs, e-mails, phone call logs... man, I don't know what else. We've got tons of pictures together. If it comes down to marriage (I really want to marry her in America first), am I going to have to prove to someone that we're really in love? I'm saving all of that crap-just in case.

    I want to bring her home on or around September 1 for at least 12 days. Is doing all of this stuff at the end of May giving her and I a sufficient amount of time for the process? I will only be in Thailand until June 18.

    I appreciate any help or future insight any of you can give me...

  2. #2
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    Well, the first thing to say is congratulations. Falling in love is such a wonderfull thing.

    As to your questions:

    I can't really comment on the visa issues since, as I understand it, it is quite a crap shoot especially for young single persons with no hard and fast ties to the community. All I can say is get the forms filled out and head for the embassy in Bangkok. Make sure you have all the 'evidence' with you including statements from you parents and anyone else that you can think of who will stand as surety that your young lady will return to Bangkok.
    One crazy idea that has popped into my head is: contact your local congressperson, explain the situation including the visa problems for a Thai person and see whether a nice letter on congressional letterhead will do the trick. You never know but I have found it is always better to have overwhelming firepower.

    If not then you will have to take the K-1 visa route. Keep accumulating the evidence including your letters, photographs, engagement ring receipt etc. The only real problem with this route is time, it took me 8 months from start to finish.

    Would be more than happy to talk to you just drop me a message.

    And good luck !

  3. #3
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    Hope you not got my former girlfriend, her name was Joy also, any one who knows my story, knows how she tried sponging money off me.
    Best test the money thing first, refuse to pay the family a wedding dowry, and see if she will still marry you with out money.

  4. #4
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    Your former girlfriend tried sponging off your money Paul? A Thai girlfriend?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by paul_au
    Hope you not got my former girlfriend, her name was Joy also, any one who knows my story, knows how she tried sponging money off me.
    Best test the money thing first, refuse to pay the family a wedding dowry, and see if she will still marry you with out money.
    lol. Well, there's a lot of girls in Thailand nicknamed "Joy". Whereabouts in Thailand are you talking about? And what's your Joy's first name? Her age?

  6. #6
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    Thats something I would like to know too, I know 4 girls named JOY, wonder if one is the one that was sponging money off Paul??

  7. #7
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    Paul had a Thai girlfriend???? Oh yeah, wasn't that like 5 years ago or something? Some things are just hard to let go of. You'd think an international player of his status would have forgotten all about her by now.
    Life is learning. If you stop learning, you might as well be dead.

  8. #8
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    Congratulations indeed!!! I hope everything works out well for you and your finacee.

    Me thinks your time frame of bringing her by September is going to be unobtainable for no other reason than the wheels of government move so slow.
    If you intend to marry her, as you say, then you may want to go the K-1 Visa route, mine took 9 months and probably could have been a little faster if I had not bumbled some of the paper work.

    Goodluck to you and yours! You can also contact me if you so wish with any questions.
    "It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little." Sydney Smith

    May all beings be happy, may all beings have peace.

  9. #9
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    Notice!

    Dear YSS:
    Congratulations!
    That said, do not get your hopes up. The key to a tourist (non-immigrant) visa to USA is ties ties ties to Thailand that is. Good job, land and house ownership, family, money in the bank, et c.
    Relationship does not matter for tourist visa. In fact IMHO it works against you because the implication is once she is in USA she'll stay (because of relationship)!
    I am married to a Thai woman. We tried to get a tourist visa but it was denied. This in spite of her having a good job (teaching for 20+ years), land ownership (3-4 properties), money in the bank & owner of a car. She had a young teen age daughter and niece she helps support too. Large extended family with 7 surviving siblings and her older parents (70's and 80's) Good candidate with good ties Right?
    Wrong? Visa denied! My suspicion is they saw the marriage to me and deemed she was a risk to return! The reason was "failure to demonstrate strong social economic or family ties outside the United States".
    Total rubbish of course because of the factors above.
    Believe me they are afraid she wouldn't return because she was married to a US citizen living in the US.
    You can try but expect to be disappointed!

  10. #10
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    When you think about the subject, you realise just how racist it is. Anybody who is a citizen of the "so called" western nations, can just purchase an airline ticket, get on it, fill out a form, then wander through US immigration. It doesn't matter what their economic or social circumstances are. Probably think we are all to soft and cannot survive without the welfare state back home. And, of course, the reverse is true (apart from the welfare state bit).

    The second thing you then ponder is just how "free" we are. It's a case of, yes, you are free to associate with who you like, just don't do it here!

    They talk the talk about globalisation but it just doesn't apply to "joe citizen"

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